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how can i tell my man he doesnt saticfy me in bed anymore?

When we first started dating sex was great it would at least last hours. BUt know that we have our own place and my kids living with us he cant last longer than two minutes unless he is drunk then its ten or so. What did i do wrong to have this problem with him?

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Lyz Lenz
Lyz LenzMarriedCommunity Manager
Posted March 10, 2010

Sex for hours? That can't last the duration of the relationship. I think you need to settle into a new idea of normal. With kids around and a life together, your sex can't last for hours always. Go easy on him. If he isn't used to living with kids adjusting to the situation will take time, so give him that space.

Why don't you talk to him about a getaway without the kids. A trip for the two of you.

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Posted March 10, 2010

Agree with Adrian, it is probably the privacy and the kids. Taking a private weekend vacation should help. Personally, my goals are more to "sanctify" my partner than to "get it over with".

Depending on your husband, you might try talking directly to him that the best sex was when you did it for hours while dating.

If he is a bit insecure, you might try discussing how you would like to do better than a "friend" who brags about often doing it for more than 30 minutes at a time. Add that it may take a bit of "training" and "practice", but you used to do it.

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adrian
adrianPatient, Supportive, Passionate, Special
Posted March 9, 2010

You didn't do anything wrong. This is a common and normal thing to happen to most couples. In fact, it's unrealistic for you to expect that he's going to last for hours every single time for the rest of your lives. I think (from my own experiences) that now that you live together there is more comfort and less drive. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Couples settle down after they move in together. And having kids around is probably an added factor because you don't have the privacy that you once did. Maybe once in a while try renting a hotel room or go somewhere private (take a weekend vacation away from the kids) to spice things back up.

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