Asked by Masterfirewall on
Not the right time
Recently my girlfriend broke up with me because she said it was not the right time and it was completely unexpected by everyone we both know and I did not see it coming either. We have been dating for 7 months almost and we both agreed that we were the one for each other. We had alot of fights from months 4-6 but we both agreed to try harder to understand the other ones point of view and always be calm around each other. She did cheat on me a month and a half in but i forgave her and she admitted it was a terrible mistake and came back to me when she broke up with me. We are both Christians and she has really affected my life positively and I am kind of lost on what to do right now other then give her space.
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"Not the right time" is always the parachute. What I mean by that is, it is the instrument for delivering the issue, not the issue. The issue is usually the person attached to the parachute.
She cheated on you a month and a half in, then you had communicative issues and fights from month 4-6, and now after 7 months she calls it quits claiming "the timing is off". I implore you to read between the lines my friend. Do not be seduced by her words, rather find the truth in her actions.
After 45 days she cheats, then you fight for two months despite the fact that you claim to have forgave her months earlier, and now she calls it quits "out of the blue". It,s not out of the blue. She has never been as sure about you as you have been about her, and you should have learned that after 45 days.
Ask yourself a more important question, which is, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you and who says one thing and acts in another? Nobody will ever respect you more than you respect yourself, so work on that first. There are about a billion other Christians out there, so I think you have a pretty substantial candidate pool, but until you respect yourself, you'll continue to run into "bad timing".
You need to give her space. Between the fights and the cheating that is a lot for seven months and it might be a good idea for both of you to take some time to cool off. Give her her space and take the space you need to get your perspective together. If its right for both of you, you will get back together. If its not, then hopefully this break can show you why.