Asked by ebonypearl on
i am in a cross road?
i dated him 2007 for 4months an d we broke up because he was unfaithful,over the years we have grown to be close friends and i found out the feelgs i have for him in 2007 has grown more in short i am deeply in love..i know he feels somethg for me but has refused to say anything because of the past,the worst i haven't been able to move on cos when i tried dating other guys it never work..please i need an urgent reply
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Infidelity is very unique in its innate disposition. Factors such as age, maturity, perspective, and in some instances, serious emotional issues are always at play. You dated for four months years ago, and since have become close friends. In that instace you have to ask yourself two things: (1) Are his days of relationship infidelity behind him? (2) Are you in love with him or the man you want him to be?
When we fall for "friends" we often have this image of how they will be in a romantic relationship. We picture them behaving in a specific way, and aspiring for certain things. However, you have been down this road with him before, and unless you are confident that his infidelity was a circumstantial mistake, and not a window into a facet of his character which you as his "friend" are trying to deny, then giving it another shot could be hit or miss.
If you both are willing, give it a shot. But go in with your eyes open. You need to be up front and honest and so does he about your past and about the reasons you both broke up in the past. You don't want a repeat of those same mistakes.
I think if you love him and you want to give the relationship another chance you should. People can change over time. You should let him know you're still interested and ask him if he is. If you're really willing to forgive his past mistake then I don't think there's any reason you shouldn't if you really want to be with him. But just discuss things openly about what happened in the past and why he was unfaithful. Make sure he's willing to commit this time and work through any issues that might come up.