Asked by pink ice on
My boyfriend does not have a kid and I do. How do I navigate this?
I've been dating my boyfriend for three months. We just recently have said I love you to each other. He is fully aware that I'm a full time mom of one grade school child. Right now we met up and go on two dates a week. Everything is very planned out and when we go out we have a great time. I have made extreme efforts not to talk about my daughter. The first reason for that is I'm very over protective of her. I have been very determined to keep my family life separate from my personal boyfriend life. Well now I'm in love and I wasn't planning on this to happen but it did. Of course I'm thrilled my boyfriend is great. Now I'm not sure how to start to speak about my beautiful awesome daughter. Issue number one is I fear that when I do share a kid story. I know his excitement level would not be the same as mine. Which is understandable because it's not his child and he doesn't have children. I really still have no desire to blend my adult personal life with my family home life. At least not for awhile still. But I am ready to start speaking about her freely with my boyfriend when I want to. How should I navigate this?
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Short and sweet advice KID COMES FIRST and make sure he knows that
I myself am in a new relationship with a man I fell in love with whom I happened to know for a year. We had friendship before anything else, and he has already met my little boy thru group outings. So that made things easier when we first began dating. In your case, obviously if your b/f is in love with you, you should be able to talk freely about your daughter. Obvious clues as to his feelings towards her are, does he ask about your daughter? Has he ever expressed interest in wanting to meet her or go out with you and her? Those are questions he should be asking you. If he never asked then it's pretty obvious he's not very interested in bonding with her. And that is a relationship you should probably avoid. I feel lucky to have found man who is willing to love my son as his own - even though he has no children. Goodluck..
Introduce him to the kid. Carefully watch which direction his feet are pointing while this is going down. That is to say, if he seems uncomfortable or like he is going to book, then he's not up to the whole dating a single parent situation. Honestly though, if he has known about your daughter the whole time you've been dating, then he's probably ok with it. He wouldn't be sticking around otherwise. If it were me, I would be wondering why you weren't talking more about such a large part of your life.