I am in the middle of a messy divorce. Emotionally you would say my husband an d I have been "divorced for some time. I wanted to leave but when I figured out the cost, I decided to try to work it out. I had never told him I though about it. He started to treat me better. I thought things were turning around then a weeks after a nice date and later a heated argunent, he decided to leave and has been psuhing for a divorce. Things are too compicated to discuss. I know he's been on the lookout for someone new for several years. Lying to eharmony about being divorced (I caught him on that one), signing up on singles sites and all the rest. He's a sociopath if it matters. Anyway,even though I could say - yeah - I would look around - scan around work and that sort of thing, I never really found anyone I was remotely interested in until last May. Someone who does some work for me. He is very nice to me. Much nicer in some ways than my husband was. He seems to like me for me rather than what some men would "wish" a girl could be. At first, our conversations just revolved around the work. But they became late night talks. sometimes until2 in the morning. Once he called me when he knew I was distraught and we talked until 5 AM. We talk about our kids. We talk about our "exs" we talk about stuff we like, stuff we don't like.
We are pretty good freiind actually - except he liev about 15 to 18 miles away so its not like he can just bop over anytime he wants. We both have kids with issues and with the economy as it is we are both into our jobs. I think our friendship could turn into more. I think he even has a crush on me and I on him. Problem is, I'm not divorced. I don't think he would make a move until the ex is out of the picture. He has a girlfriend that I am guessing he still cares about but where is she if he is talking to me 2-3 times a week in the wee hours? He has me listen to various songs he likes. Even some songs you would play for someone you loved.Maybe he is ready to move on but is too nice to do anything. I guess I am writing this because I don't know what to think. All the guys I went out with before I got married were men I knew in college and there was always someone who could give you advice about how they were. I have been married so long, I don't even think I would know if someone was falling for me or wanted to have a relationship. I would probably blow it by saying something stupid, or - if I really liked him, by trying to get too close too fast. Then they would run away. I don't know how to act or react.
I am hoping that someone out there has a clue for me.
Thanks PS I am pretty much over my ex except for that financial dependency part. He hurt me too bad to go back to him.