Asked by smith on
why do i question if i want to get back together with him?
I had a boyfriend and i loved him and i still do love him. The problem is that i found out that he lied to me. I'm not sure what all he lied to me about though and he denies ever lying to me. When i think about him, though, sometimes i think about how much i miss him and sometimes i think about how big of a jerk he was. We're still friends and all and i think i like being friends more than being boyfriend and girlfriend. But sometimes all i want is just to be with him even after i know that he has lied to me. How do i just forget about him? I kind of dont even want to be friends anymore just because im afraid he is going to want me back and i know that im not going to have the guts to say no because i love him so much. I don't have the guts to tell him that i dont want to be friends anymore either. I don't know what to do. I just wish i never met him.

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First of all, I'd like to challenge your victim mentality. I believe that if you don't want to get back together with him because you know it won't make you happy, you'll have the strength to let him know that. I also believe you have the strength to tell him you don't want to be his friend, when you decide the time is right. Your problem here? You've broken up with a boy because you don't trust him, and you're having trouble getting over him because he's still a part of your life. I think when a relationship breaks down, it is essential to cut off contact until both of you have healed. If you maintain a "friendship", it's very likely that one or both of you will be unable to move on, only extending the grief process. So what do I suggest? For both of you, get some space. You can focus on friendship once your done pining. For now, look after yourself.