Asked by utterlybitterlylady on
I feel insecure about my relationship for no reason, how do I get rid of this?
I have been dating my fiancée for 5 months and we are to be married soon.I feel worried and insecure about possibilities of him cheating and I even make sarcastic remarks to him sometimes like " I know you why u want to go to Bangkok and Las Vegas". He says he will never cheat me and I do trust him but cannot get rid of this thought and feel jealous and concerned about every woman he meets.I have had 5-6 serious relationships in the past out of which one was abusive and I have been cheated brutally.Please suggest what steps can I take to get over my past and be positive in my upcoming relationship?
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It sounds like you do have a reason for not trusting, it's just not your boyfriend, it's your past. The best thing I can suggest is to get into individual therapy to heal yourself. Letting your fiancee know why you feel the way you do can also help. Finally, the two of you may be able to figure out things he can do that help you really feel that he's a different guy from the jerks in the past.
When I met my second husband, we went on our first date, and I looked a bit scared and worried. He asked me what was wrong? I said, I was starved and beaten by my ex-husband, if you ever touch me in anything way but loving , I will break your hand off. He said, I'd never touch a woman in any way but loving ways. He was very loving to me and my two sons from my first marriage. We were married for 27 years, he died at 57 years from cancer.
Relate the reasons you are worried to you fiance' and maybe you two can get rid of you worries and have a very loving marriage.
Men and women look the room over at other people, don't worry so much about him looking for some new lady to be in his life, don't assume the worst. Calm you fears and look for the best in him and encourage him to be the best he can be, cause he will bring out the best in you then.
Good Luck with you up coming marriage.
Morticia:)