Asked by xxazngirl4lifexx on
Why is it so hard?
i want to know why is it so hard to break up with my boyfriend, i love him and i thought thats a good enough reason to stay. sometimes i think hes controlling me, like when we're talking about breaking up, he always say theres no reason for me to live anymore or if i lose you then i might as well forget about being in love. because whats the point of being in love if you lose the one you love?
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I just recently made the decision to end a relationship that was a year and 3 months a long. He actually wanted a break, we didn't speak for 3 weeks. Then we're all out with friends and he thinks we can just pick up where we left off and act like nothing happened - nope! He wanted the break for numerous reasons. So my decision to just end it was hard but I think for the best. Story:
Things had been rough for our relationship for the last 3-4 months. I debated a lot abot just ending it... but it was hard. So many people said I should, but I loved him and figured things would improve after the summer cos he was working odd times and we barely got to see each other. Summer ended and I still only saw him once a week. He was super busy with stuff that he just didn't have time, but yet could make time for his friends when they wanted him to stuff. Thanks buddy. So after thinking things over and over... it's almost better to just end it now and see what happens in the future. I still love him, he's a great person... just needs to figure out some things in life.
It sucks cos I adore his family and the friends we've hung out with for the last year have been his... so I almost lose them as well. But he made that choice to take some time to think and it gave me that time as well. I think it helped. So maybe try that... see what a break does and after a few weeks - evaluate what you want. You never know... it may help it!
Just being in love is not a good enough reason. Some relationships are just not healthy and it sounds to me like you may be in one. As for the drama, has no right to pressure you to stay. Don't let him guilt trip you, that's just a form of manipulation, and thats never good. Wise up girl.
Riina
I'm not sure exactly why you want to break up with him. You mention that you love him but don't say exactly why you want to leave him.
You mention that you feel he is trying to control you when you do tell him that you want to break up. You mention that he says there is no reason to live and so forth.
My advice is that if you’re truly unhappy of feel like he is trying to control you then you have to make that choice for yourself to leave him. He may very well love you however for anyone to try and hang on to someone like that really comes down to themselves being insecure and thus tries to manipulate your feelings by reason of guilt if you left him.
You have to make that choice though and don't let his guilt trip hold you to a situation that you really want out of. You may not be ready for a serious relationship at this point in your life, if you stay with him just because of him then you will end up resenting him down the line.
Hope this helps, good luck to you both.