Asked by destiny0216 on
friends or lovers?
I met this guy in cooking school a year ago. We've been friends ever since. We'd hang out every now and then, we'd talk and text. At one point we were hanging out until the wee hours of the morning and he'd come with to every party or event that i'd have him come with me. My intuition tells me there's more to us than being friends but he never said something about it. We never talked about "us" if there is such a thing. His eyes could see right through me and I can feel that connection but Im scared to open the topic. Im scared of being rejected and hearing the words "hey we're just friends right" but I dont know how to deal with my feelings anymore. I tried dating other guys but I still go back to him. I dunno what to do. Help!
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My Goodness, what are you so afraid of? The rejection right? You said that you guys have been friends for what sounds like a pretty long time to get an idea of whats going on. Have neither of you ever flirted with each other? Have you tried asking him casually "so do you have a girl friend?" try asking it after a joke or on a day you guys are having a real good time so it wont make an awkard situation most likely he'll ether say "yes i do" or "no i sure dont" usually a no reply would give you the green light to progress even further then you could say "Well, I really like you and was wondering what you thought of me" I know that sounds like a big risk to come out and say it like that but really it isnt so bad if you can manage to say it with confidence as though his answer wont effect the friendship. You can tell if a guy is intrested cause he'll make it obvious in his reply, if he responds with "Your really cool...but' or "im just not ready for a relationship right now" he still wants to be friends with you so try not to take it as a stab in the heart cause then it could possibly sour the relationship, say "Oh ok, thats cool!, so.." then change the subject to something else. It could possibly be that he's just as nervous as you are and could be worrying the same thing that you just want to be friends. So go for it and try not to worry so much about what his reaction might be, guys are alot more cool headed then you think. Also.. beware of answers like "No..not really..i just have this crazy ex that keeps calling me but me and her are completely over"
Good luck!