I slept with a friend and now he won't talk to me
We weren't best friends or anything, and there was always a non-platonic vibe, but I honestly didn't think he was interested in me that way. He has a six month old daughter with this woman he was never seriously involved with and is not currently with (translation: she was a very casual relationship). In other words, a LOT of baggage. He's not boyfriend material. Anyway, we hooked up, and he's acted oddly since. We hung out once post-hookup. I tried to initiate another hookup (I liked the idea of a friend w/benefits) and he said he had to get up early the next day, so I decided to go back to my house. He didn't like that and called me a jerk and said "i thought you cared me about me than that", and kept insisting that I was mad at him for some reason, which was untrue- I just wanted to go home. Yes, this guy is an idiot, see above mention of NOT Boyfriend Material. Anyway, I bounced that night, and I didn't hear from him after that, until I called him. He wanted to get off the phone, said he would call me back- and never did. I called him yesterday- he didn't answer, and hasn't called back (it's been over 24 hours). The sex was so-so, and he's not boyfriend material, but he is still a friend, and I'm very upset that I've apparently lost a friend because of one stupid night of so-so sex. I mean, it's completely ridiculous. Does anyone have any advice, or should I just drop it? I'll probably drop it. But then, if he does contact me again sometime in the future, should I respond? I hate losing friends...
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update: I wrote the guy an email and basically just said not to call me anymore, since the sex was an issue. He called me (I was in the shower) and left me this loooooong voicemail of excuses, and said he didn't know I felt that way. uh huh. I guess his excuses might have been legitimate if he had a full-time job, but he has NO job (let's please remember that this guy is NOT boyfriend material, and I am very well aware of it). A couple of hours later, he texted me and asked if I wanted to talk. I didn't respond, or call back. Of course, this is now making me wonder if I'm crazy, that maybe I didn't read it right. But no. I mean, I was intimate with this guy. I don't just allow all sorts of men access into my pants. As a friend, I would expect some level of respect, and as a friend who allowed him access to my pants, maybe an iota more respect than that. Is that asking too much? I don't think so. I didn't expect him to call me every day- I wouldn't even expect that if I was dating the guy. Why the hell am I second-guessing my sanity?
Drop it. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. Unfortunately, the sex changed everything, and there's not a lot that you can do. He has some issues, so let him work through whatever they are. If he calls back, tell him that you feel that it's best if the two of you go your separate ways.
