what to do?
Hi, I've been married for 14 years now and we have 3 children 13, 11, 5 months. My problems are that my husband works from 7am to 5pm but has to wake up @ 4:30am because his job is about a 2hour ride, and I have been telling him to look for something close so his not so tire all the time.
Now their more to this, I work on weekend because we just had a baby and we need the income to pay bills, so my husband stays with the kids on the weekend from 9am to 3pm.
The big problem is that I have to pay for food, lights, cable, what ever the kids need, and I also do the house work, and finish his work that’s usually never get’s done for example (I fix the this that get broken in the house like the sink, take down heavy things.. (so on) I have to tell him to cut the grass take out the garbage, which most of the time I do it. So basically my husband just pays the rent and the gas for the car oh! yea I got the car insures too. Now I’ve spoken to him about all this and his answer is always the same “I have to pay the rent and it’s a lot of money, and by the way I work all week and you are here all day so what’s the problem”.
This has been going on for a year now and it’s making me want to leave the relationship.
We were renting my mother house for about 5year so the rent was low and my parents were very understanding. How ever I was working full time and still had to do the house work but didn’t have to worry about all the bills.
Now I believe in 50/50 in a relationship and I have no problem in helping but sometime it’s hard to do it all…
so can u help please
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Try counseling before you bounce. Maybe if he hears if from another party, then he may get his act together.
I CAN REALLY RELATE TO THIS! This was my husband, he went to work and came home, that was all he did. I raked the leaves, shoveled the snow, took out the trash, and my family would come around and be so mad I was doing so much. I was married for 8 years before I left because he would just come home and play with kids. I worked because I had 6 to 12 kids in my childcare the entire marriage if I did not have a job outside the home. I have 3 children, all two years apart, he didn't get it til I left. Now, I left and took my heart away and stopped loving him, then the relationship was over. But the old saying is really true, they don't know what they have until its gone. So you could leave for a while until he realize you the best thing thats ever happened because even though my husband has dated many women, he now realizes they are all after something and its all superficial BS!!! If I would have left long before I took my heart away, we would probably be together right now because he understands it, but you really have to leave w/ the intentions of not coming back til he gets it together. This sounds like a dealbreaker for you, it was for me, I couldn't be happy because all I was doing is taking care of everything, we never he spent time together, so my life was sucking. My BF now, cleans, cooks, take care of my 3 children and I'm surprised evertime the trash is gone out of MY house not HIS because he just does stuff and its amazing not having to do everything. 14 years is a long time, I wouldn't give it up so fast, theres always two sides to the story. or maybe get someone he will respect to talk both of you guys because how can someone else NOT understand this situatuion. Men are idiots! thats what I think all of them, even the good ones, something is wrong w/ all of them, so no matter what you're settling, so just make sure if you're going to settle, its something wrong with them that you can handle and thats not a deal breaker.
