Did I mess up?
Ive dating this guy for abt a month...When were together, we get along great, talk a lot, challenge each other, flirt, and there is a lot of sexual chemistry between us. After several dates, we had sex twice. Problem is he's great when we're together, but when we're apart, he's absent..He rarely calls, texts occassionally, and its just odd that he's cancelled 3 dates on me, but when we talk he is so eager to see me, n when were together things are great. It bothers me that he doesn't call the next day after we've slept together, even though he says I'll call you later so that we can "have lunch"...After this happened twice, I sent him a text telling him I felt weird about being w/him the night before, then not getting a phone call, and the lack of communication during the week..He hasn't responded to it...Thoughts...Did i mess up by sending him that text so early on?
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Gotta agree with the gals. He may just be communication challenged, or he may just be really enjoying the time he spends with you but isn't looking to make an effort at anything. Either way, its a sure sign he isn't really relationship worthy if he can't even keep his word when he says he'll call.
I remember your other post, so it still really hasn't been that long since your divorce/separation....I'm still of the belief that this guy has been "filler" for you and its hard to let go of that and be along long enough to really move on with your life. This may be just enough of a wake up for you to finally deal with it...but that is really up to you.
Right on Imaton! Sounds like it's a waste of time to be honest with you and he's just taking sex when offered!
Sounds like total jackass? right?
After all, before you had sex with him, you did give him a list of your expectations, that the day after having sex with you, he is supposed to call you frequently, have lunch, and just be available to talk and further connect emotionally. Why did he ignore all your expections??
Let me guess?? perhaps its coz you never told him any of this!! so how in the world was he SUPPOSED to know? Yes, all this list of expectation may come naturally to you , and all female population, but Hello??? He is not a female!! he is a male and men do not think like that..
Ever heard / read, that men always say, if you expect something from us, SAY IT ~~
so, what you can do now? Next time you are together, say this "Love, when we make love/ sleep together I feel so emotionally connected to you, and then when you call me next day just to check up on me, it makes it so much special for me. I keep thinking about you all day and replaying what we did last night, over and over.."
Good luck!
p.s. make a gay friend, he will be good help to you in decoding how men work
Sorry to say this bluntly, but I pull band-aids off quickly. It sounds like one of those people (boys) that love the thought of being in love but never really lives in reality. Love takes work. If you have been intimate 2 times, but yet, you feel an emotional distance, then face your feelings and understand he just may not be that into you. Many guys will have sex, when offered, without the emotions that should go with being intimate. At the same time, many women do not offer sex until the emotions become involved... If you are not meeting that one thing on the same foot, than it can really break hearts. Is that what happened here?
