Asked by Jane Wilcox on
What is his PROBLEM????
It can't be this difficult. I just don't get it. EVERY time my S.O. and I have a discussion about something it evolves into a major erruption. Which results in his little dramatics of throwing his arms in the air and storming around the house like a 2-year old. He won't let me get a sentence out, because he finishes it for me - and not what my thought process is, but what his idea is.
I cannot talk to this man without him taking every little detail and turning it on me. Yes, I've tried the communication techniques that are so successful for everyone. I don't accuse, I simply say, "this is how it makes me feel when such and such happens." Then it's MY fault that such and such happened. I finally told him tonight, hey - I cannot walk on eggshells the rest of my life, and if I don't feel safe in speaking what's on my mind then we have no relationship. His reaction: the typical, "whatever".
Arrrrghhhhh!
I'm exhausted. Seriously, does it have to be THIS difficult???
Is it time to just say BUH BYE?
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I think petty conflicts escalating can be a sign that a relationship is having serious problems. It could also be a sign that he is under a lot of stress for some other reason. The other possibility that occurs to me is that it can be a sign of sexual frustration.
If you want to stay in the relationship, I think you should get counseling and help with how to keep fights from escalating. If he won't go, you could go yourself.
I don't know if you should give up or keep trying. I do think, though, that you should NOT accept the status quo.
I personally think that if all you're doing is arguing and there is no good communication between the two of you that maybe you should break it off. There really is no point in walking on eggshells the rest of your life. :)