To be polite or bitterly rude??
I'd like some advice in regard to the social aspects of male to female communication. Why do some men feel that when a woman is just being polite and socially cordial that it is often viewed as an invitation to romantic and or sexual interest? I ask because I've been in the process of forming what I would like to be a friendship, yet he's getting the impression that I'm offering more than just friendly social interaction. I don't like to do certain things alone, like eating out or movies. I only invite my friend as a companion, yet I now think that he's under the impression that I want more than a movie buddy, and I don't. Is there any way to solve this problem without hurting his ego or feelings? Is it better for me just to leave him be, and make no future contact? I wish not to hurt anyone, but I've no attraction to him in any form, he's not my type.
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I've found that this is something that goes both ways. I've been purely friendly before to some women and they took it as a sign of interest, to which I had to politely state that it wasn't done out of romantic interest or anything like that. Some stayed friends, some didn't.
Gauntlet's way could work out for you of just stating how happy you are being single right now, but the pitfall in that is if you find someone you are interested in then your guy friend right now may feel hurt or lied to. I'd say tell him straight out that you enjoy spending time with him as a friend and you don't want anything more with him. Make it clean, honest, and to the point. Maybe he'll stay a friend, maybe he won't...but if he stays a friend then he'll definitely know that you aren't looking for something more with him. That way he won't just stick around hoping you want something more, or just disappear when he does find someone that does want a relationship with him.
Its flattering that he is interested in you, but its not out of the question that he can stay your friend.
As I said earlier, I don't really think this is purely a men not understanding women thing, although I will admit that men have a harder time reading when a woman actually wants something with him more than friendship.
During a casual chat, start to talk about single life in general. Then casually slip in the chat that your happy being single and not wanting something long term right now. That is not directed at him personally then but it also should be a clear message to him that you don't want more then just friends. If he can't respect your boundaries after that then I'd just back off of him fully and not even be friends with him.
Guys (me included) who are single and interested in finding a woman for a relationship do sometimes see niceness as a invitation to more. I'm not talking at all about sex because I'm not looking for that period however I'm talking about a relationship. I had a woman who was very good looking smile at me and start up a chat with me out of the blue. Long story short was I took that as that she was interested in more then just a casual chat and I asked her out, she looked freaked out and we went our separate ways. My point is that, some guys (including me) would rather that a woman just ignore me in public and leave me alone period then to start to smile at me and strike up a chat. Personally I would rather just be left alone because maybe I don't read women so well when they smile and just want to chat and be friends in person.
I'm guessing more guys just tend to be that way.
