Asked by Shoshanna on
What does being into S&M say about your personality?
The only way I can have an orgasm during sex is if there is a little kink. I am into the who BDSM scene. I read somewhere that if you are in S&M you are insecure, but I am very confident person. I like being the sub. In all other aspects of my life I am pretty dominant.
So does it really reflect on ones personality?
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My man and I started out vanilla, but quickly got into BDSM, more him than me. I like submission, but I do not like pushing my limits as much as he does, but he does not seem to get it. The rest of our relationship is fine, really good, in fact...and I want to stay with him. How do I get him to understand? Using my safe word almost seems to make him angry, so I usually take more than I want so as not to upset him. Also found out he is not yet divorced, but separated, so is lying to his parents about me, and he covers a lot of his tracks with "white" lies to protect others. I will meet one of his friends, but he has concocted another fib to keep me out of the picture until his divorce moves along, and I am not sure I will ever be vindicated from his "web of deceit". Am I fooling myself by staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons? (The rest of it all feels so right, but my gut instinct tells me to investigate further.
I takes a very secure and confident person to be submissive during intimate encounters. It is rather more true to say that most often the dominant partner is less secure and also less confident than his/her submissive partner.
Most people ike a little kink during sex and the fact that you cannot seem to achieve orgasm without the kink isn't unusual at all. If you have a willing partner who understands what drives you it will allow you to explore new and exciting scenarios. You'll grow and stretch and find other things that drive you allowing you to find other ways to achieve orgasm. Either way it's a wonderful journey and you should relish it and not listen to people who would take your joy and twist it into something wrong or disturbed.
It really depends on the person but in general your a example of what most subs are like. Most people who are of a submissive nature tend to be usually very secure in who they are as people and they usually are very in control at work and in daily life. Subs want the thrill of being told what to do and lose that control to someone else usually as a way of letting off the stress of always being in control.
Be careful though, as I'm sure you probably already know, there are times where people will get into the BDSM lifestyle for the wrong reasons. You have to be very careful because I feel there are people who can be into a healthy form of BDSM where it's two consenting adults and then sometimes predators will use that label as a means to find a submissive and try to abuse them.
In my opinion I do think to a degree it may reflect on your personality some. From knowing no more then I have read about you, my guess is that your the type of person is craves thrills. You enjoy doing things that make you feel on the edge in life.