Asked by YourTango on
For the Guys: Meeting the family
When do you decided it`s the right time to introduce your girlfriend to your family (mostly parents)? Is there some type of criteria you use, time limit together, ect...? Just curious :)
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Its a little more difficult to keep things so seperated out here. A lot of people out here have some really deep family ties...and a lot of people out here still live with their parents. Some of that is an ethnic thing, a lot of it is the high cost of living and lack of available jobs that actually allow a single person to live well on their own.
Out here its not uncommon to meet the parents pretty quickly. I guess some may feel its kind of testing the waters. For myself, I like meeting parents (gives me more insight into who I am with even though they may not be much like their parents at all) and my folks are pretty open, warm hearted, and non-judgemental folks. Plus my mom is kinda crazy in a fun way so most GFs have adored her pretty quickly.
Then again, I've always done what I felt was best for myself, with or without the folks approval, so I may not hold it in the same weight or category of importance as many do. I can't say that I've ever really dated anyone that found it odd to meet my parents early on (definitely within the first month, often after a week and a half to 2 weeks).
I don't think there is a time limit, but I do think there is some cursory vetting process. Like you've been with them long enough to know and trust them and know they won't freak out when meeting your parents.
I agree with NYCButterfly. I think family should be left out of things until you really know that there is a strong connection. It takes a lot to bring family into the mix, just as it would if you had a child and you introduced a child to someone new. Family should not have to go through getting to know someone, only to have the person split up and then hey here family I want you to meet so and so now.
Make darn sure they are someone that is a real keeper.
I think you should just know in your heart when the time is right. I would want my boyfriend to introduce me to his parents when he was sure the relationship was going somewhere and that he was taking me seriously. The same goes for me. I wouldn't want to introduce every guy I date to my parents. I would only do so if I am considering marrying them one day or love being around them so much that I would want them accepted into my family.