Asked by CallMeCrazyJane on
Friends after break up?
I have been dating my bf for 8 months now. We have a good relationship in the sense that we have similar values, share good times, laughs, etc. Our relationship is lacking in affection and physical intimacy. Lately, I have been considering a break up. I feel no connection to him anymore, other than friendship. That's pretty much what our relationship has been- a good friendship. He seems to be okay with this set up, although I am not sure why. I don't want to lose his friendship if I break up with him. I have read a lot about break ups and how you can't be friends with your ex, or that it's not a good idea. In this case though, where there was really no intimacy or physical connection involved, would this still be the case?
Post new comment
After you two break up you are going to have to give him space. You are going to have to adjust to your new norm. You make think friendship is a lot like what you have, but it will change and hopefully for the better for the both of you. But for it to work , you have to be willing to let him go and deal with it in his own way, even if that means he doesn't want to be friends with you.
He may be OK with it because he feels the same way, and he may not know how to tell you.
When most people say not to be friends with an ex, it's because of the circumstances surrounding the breakup, and its aftermath. If there is no animosity, anger, violence, etc, then it's probably an OK thing to be friends. From what you've stated, your situation would seem to be OK for friendship. There are times when people get along better as friends than lovers. What sometimes happens is that they'll try the relationship thing again, only to be disappointed again. Some things just aren't meant to be.
My situation is a bit different. But I was with my ex for over 5 1/2 years, he decided that he didn't love me enough to marry me. Yes the break up was very painful and hurtful. Acutally at times I catch myself still hurting. But we both have made a decision that friendship relationship is something we both want. So we have gone out 3 times now and I see him every weekend. We just hang out. Yes it is awkard at times. But I truly feel that we can do this, be friends that is.
We are open and honest with each other. Which is important for that to work.