Asked by smokes on
does my partner/wife genuinely love me
My wife and I been maried for almost two years. Before we got married we were lovers for a long time. We were palyers as well. I had plenty women and was still cheating when we got married. She may have cut all ties but im not a 100% sure. She caught me out there a number of times and i think she started cheating herself (whether it was physical, I dont know). We soon later had a baby and while she was pregnant i was still cheating and didnt have sex w/her. Now that ive finally matured i dont mess around and im dedicated and infatueated with my wife but know the tables are turned and she seems distant. She was but no longer is very sexual with me. She always wanted to have sex but since the baby, shes not really interested. I blame myself for it. If i was faithful from the start, i wouldnt be complaing right now. If i made her happy and gave her what she wanted, i would be good. Now i think shes cheating or i turned her off from sex. Im confused cause i love her to death but her attitude and her sexual appetite has went south. What could i do to rekindle her sexual apetite. Cause i tried!! but no cigar. We are very young and at our sexual peak. Im finna go back to my old ways if it doesnt get better but i rather not. I need some help.
Post new comment
You're right. It's your fault. For a woman to go through pregnancy without the support, love and care of her partner must be such a sad experience! I'm glad her baby is the center of her life now and I hope that makes her happy since you, as a husband, weren't there to support her and her baby. You wonder why she's distant? It only figures that a cheating husband thinks everyone is of his condition. Just because you cheated doesn't mean she's cheating. You need to find out if she still loves you and PROVE to her that you love her. You might still have a chance, so go for it.
it's not that she does not love you anymore is just that she cannot trust you with her feelings. Besides, i agree with yovette, daddy that spend extra time with the children turns us on as women it makes us appreciate the fact that he is concern... You just keep loving her the best way you can and you'll be surprised it will turn around for the better.
You got exactly what you deserved. If you want better, then treat her better. No one would trust you with your attitude about cheating. You haven't learned from your mistakes - I hope she dumps you - then you'll learn that you only get back what you give in life and when you give someone misery - it's coming your way sooner or later. I think you're a looser who only thinks of himself and you have a wife that has already left emotionally.
I agree with the 2 responds before me confess and sincerly apologize 2 her tell her that you want your family.Then you wait on her and i do mean wait do not go back 2 your old ways she has 2 be able 2 trust you,and 2 know that when things don't go your way you won't tgo back 2 cheatin. This is the sign of a mature man. Also don"t forget that having a baby does alot 2 a women mental and pysical and she may not feel attracted or sexy. And thats partial your fault 2 for you say you didn"t have sex with her while she was pregant.Let her know you find her more attracted because she is the mother of your child an gift 2 both of you from your union.Last help out when ever you can,exspecially with the baby we women find that a daddy that enjoys quality time with his child can be a turn on for us. She still loves you, she just don't trust you with her feelings. Good Luck
First of all, and I can speak from experience on this, you're young, you're newlyweds, and you have a new baby. The amount of stress a baby puts on a marraige is incredible. Your wife is probably taking care of the baby almost all of the time, maybe she has a job or goes to school also. Your wifes first priority is to take care of the baby, not your sexual needs. How much are you helping out with the baby? Its time for you to step up and take care of your child and give your wife a break. Have her go to dinner with friends, or a day at the salon...just give her a break once in a while and your marraige will improve. And if you really think that cheating on her, or threatening to cheat will hepl matters, you're sadly mistaken. It will only lead to divorce and child support payments for the next 21 years.
First off, did you tell her that you cheated? You need to come clean. Odds are she knows and she's emotionally checked out. You two need to get that out into the open and deal with it. The more you let this simmer the more its going to tear you apart.
You think things done in secret won't affect you, but they do. Don't project your insecurities on her. Come clean. Be honest and try to move forward. Otherwise you guys will never be truly intimate and it will show. This is why secrets are so harmful to relationships.
Also, you said you might go back to your old ways?! And you are questioning HER love for you? Sounds like she has every right to question your love for her. Straighten up and don't blame her for your failings. Be honest and work on this together. But you have to come clean/
I hate to be the one to break it to you but your wife sounds like she has already through in the towel. To me, however, it does not seem like you really care with the last comment "Im finna go back to my old ways if it doesnt get better but i rather not." If you really loved her this would not be an option and you would go with out and wait on her.
I was in the same position as your wife, had the kid, sex stopped and distance grew. Needless to say the challange was back for husband. The more rejection a person throws out there the more desirable the other person becomes. Goes to show that a person really wants what they can't have. --Single and loving it.