Asked by Shoshanna on
Why do I lose interest in guys when become interested in me?
Whenever a guy likes me I find him unappealing. I have no idea why. A friend of mine liked me for two years. I had a thing for him, but he always made it clear how he felt about me so I didn't want to act on my feelings. He moved a few months ago and I could kick myself for never being with him because we had insane chemistry.
Another more recent example begins in high school. I was friend with this guy and we liked each other off and on for four years. I would like him whenever he had a girlfriend and he would like me when he didn't have one. He asked me to every school dance and whenever I'd turn him down he would go with someone else and I would get jealous. He was away at college for two years and just moved back. I missed him while he was gone, but now I am no longer interested!
The guy I can't stop thing about now is my neighbor who is a jerk. I don't want to like him, but I can't help it.
Any idea why I am like this? It's extremely annoying! How can I stop acting this way?
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I have had this problem for years, and am glad im I stumbled upon this post! I have had this issue floating thu my mind about a close friend all day, and this has helped me solve it!
Its like as SOON as you get them in your corner, you're done alredy. Like CLAIRE said, the challenge/compettition is over, and whatever feeling that was being chased, has climaxed. For me, it's the "reality" of situations that turn me off. Im a closet commit-a-phobe, and run away at the first inkling of "real feelings" within myself.
Also, it could be that you like the thrill of chasing, and the "intense attraction vibes", but not the actual FULLFILLMENT of the fantasy/idea. All in all, until the day you give into the reality part, you will go thru this constantly. Best advice I've recieved so far - Keep your distance from their heart, and they wont get into your mind.
I have the same problem and I also wonder why this is this way. I think it has something to do with low self esteem. If you "get" a guy that isn't interested in you, it makes you feel better about yourself. Another thing may be a fear of commitment. Also if you are used to shitty guys, someone that calls when they say they will and is good too you can sometimes be scary like "ok I have what I wanted now what" or "oh shit I have what I want, but do I really want it? For me it's almost as if the ones that don't want me are the ones I want the most. Pretty messed up and still trying to work through it myself.
I had a friend like this. She figured that she wasn't good enough for they guys who showed interest so she would run for the hills.
It could also be the thrill of the chase.
Well, have you heard of the ol' groucho marx joke, "that I wouldn't belong in any club that had me for a member?"
Well, seems like you have something like that going on.
Perhaps it's because you interpret their feelings for you, their communication of those feelings for you, as a weakness. A weakness and vulnerability that you find unappealing.
Maybe you lose interest in it because the thrill is gone. The competition is over.
What I think is that once the game is over, and things are starting for real, you get scared.
The way to stop this is to just work your way through it. Give them a chance. Let them kiss you. Twice. No sparks? Then move on.
Sorry... I meant 'Why do I lose interest in guys when THEY become interested in me?'