Asked by Blossom24 on
When should military LDR not take place?
I'm just curious to know when military long distance relationship should not happen. If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. Just let me know if you need more background info as well. Thanks.
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Thanks Qverb, I appreciate your comment.
As far as ackground info...The guy I met about 10 years ago, but we never spoke to each other. He was a friend of friends. He's been in the military for a little over four years, so I knew about his career. We started with online communication and things progressed. He came home for a visit and we hung out the entire time. Our friendship progressed and he wanted something more. At first I was apprehensive but just let things progress. Things seemed to to be going well until he moved from one state to another. Everything changed, communication is very limited. He says that he still has feelings for me and that he still wants to be with me, but I think maybe it's bad timing for him. I just don't know anymore.
Background info always helps, otherwise the advice you'll get will be about as generic as what I'm about to give.
LDRs are really up to the people involved. Its not a certain type of situation that should keep you from an LDR, but a mindset. I can't do LDR right off the bat. If I'm in an established relationship, like we've been together for at least 3 months, preferably more, then I can handle a LDR.
The difficult part with military LDRs, and I kinda understand this since I grew up a military dependent, is that it happens in irregular intervals, and it gets more varied depending on which branch you're in. If your spouse, or boyfriend, is going to Iraq then keep in mind that he'll really be looking forward to seeing you when he gets home...so you need to be really honest with yourself if you can wait.
Other fun parts about being a military wife...you'll have to learn a certain amount of self reliance and flexibility as you get moved around to either different parts of the country or to different parts of the world, and if your guy gets deployed then that leaves everything at home up to you to deal with. There are wives clubs and other services built into the armed forces to give guidance and assistance, but you'll really be running the show while your guy is over seas.
Now, if your concern is that the guy you're seeing is getting deployed and you both have either only known each other for a month (or something like that) or you don't have the best relationship as it is right now then your LDR is probably not going to last. LDRs require a lot of communication and trust, so, as I said before, you need to be really honest with yourself about how well you can handle it, and how well your guy can handle it.