I understand where you're coming from. I have quite a few exes that are friends and that I talk with maybe once every 3+ months or so. There is, of course, no reason to not be friends with them. There is no cheating, there is no "love" in the relationship sense, and there is no keeping them around as a spare. They are friends and nothing more.

My GF has problems with this because the majority of her exes cheated on her with their exes, and so on and so forth. Its a regular skirmish between us where I get to pay for the sins of her past exes even though I've done nothing wrong myself. Understanding why she feels that way about exes, where that comes from for her, has helped me learn how to diffuse those situations. I am adamant to her that I will not dissolve a friendship for anybody, providing that it is in no way disrespectful to my current relationship. She has slowly come to accept that fact and the fact that I am not one of her exes and will not behave in the same ways they did.

Its a bit of an uphill struggle, and it requires a lot of patience and understanding, especially when her ire is really up, but its getting better. She knows she can trust me, but that intellectual "knowing" isn't the same as emotionally knowing.

Perhaps your guy has had a similar history of exes leaving him for their exes. Find out what his reasoning for this is, if he can even share it. You're right about the principle of the matter. Relationships should never limit a person, and if they are then they aren't healthy relationships.

Best of luck.

It's not about the ex's. It's about him not liking seeing them on my friends list. They don't even talk to me, nor do I send them messages or anything. But he obsesses about them being there. And I don't want to feel pressured to remove them just because he feels threatened by their being on my list (this is facebook). I personally think he puts too much energy toward it, if he really trusts ME, then why do I need to delete them?
I don't 'need' them, it's just the principle of the thing.

There has to be more than this. It can't be just about ex boyfriends. If it is, then the two of you need to talk this out.

Going by what you said, it's about ex boyfriends. Why do you need to keep up a friendship with ex boyfriends? One, maybe, but a few? Unless you work with them, or happen to run into them every now and then, what's the point?

If it's more than that, then he may have some serious control issues. You can't get him to change that. He'll have to want to get help for that.

WHY DO YOU NEED TO HAVE CONTACT WITH EXES. DUMP HIM QUICK,FAST AND IN A HURRY!

I'm not sure you can. You can just tell him that you want to be able to have contact with your ex-boyfriends and you're not going to cheat on him. Reassure him.

Is his controlling behavior going beyond asking you not to have contact with the ex-boyfriends?