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Single
I dont know

how do you get back intimacy with a partner after cheating

My partner cheated on me with another girl sometimes back he came to me and told me a half truth because he knows that one way or the other i always find out so he told me that his friends were the ones who pushed him to that girl. He said that his friends had started questioning his manhood and the girl was hanging onto him at the bar where they drink and so he just kissed her and that was all

After a few days my phone got spoiled so he gave me one of his cell phones to use before i bought another and i found messages which they had been sending between him and that girl who he told me was just a kiss i was very hurt by that and when i asked him instead of being sorry he became mad at the fact that i had to check through his sms so i left it at that

We promised to be best friends no matter what happens in our life and we have done that so far so we meet almost every other day maybe for coffee or for movie. After that incidence i never slept with him again or shared the same room with him. If i go to his place i sleep in a different room. He has tried to show me in different ways that he is sorry about what happened but i have not been able to forgive him for that. Its been over six months ever since it happened almost a year actually and i can vouch for him for the fact that he has not had another girl for all that time. We both have now turned to internet for fantasies and it is really boring.

I have two questions: One is how do i get past that and forgive him for the lie? and the second is how do we get back our love life or passion? How do we get back to having sex and all since we enjoy each others company and we both kind of know that we belong together?

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Complicated
"I can relate"

Been in this situation once. My husband cheated for 6 months and finally felt guilty about doing it and told on himself. I think I would rather of never known. Ruined my marriage completely. No trust, didn't want him to touch me, nothing.

You don't get over it the affair will always be on your mind. You'll always wonder if hes still cheating.

Beleive me it never goes back to the same loving way it was.

Single
moving on

I have a question/survey posted that I would love for you to answer...it relates to your question and is research for a paper I am writing in school. thanks.

Married
Community Manager
"I can't relate, but I hear ya"

You won't be able to get past it unless he is willing to earn your trust and only you can decide what earning your trust looks like. And that is not being sorry. Of course he is sorry, but is he willing to earn your trust? Not talk about what a bad person he is, but man up and earn you back. I hope so. If he is I suggest starting at square one. Ask him to woo you all over again. If he's not willing you won't be able to get past it. Some people get past it, but you need to be very honest with yourself. Why do you want to make this work with him? Do you just miss the sex? That's not a good enough reason. Cheating wrecks some marriages and you two are just dating. Why is this worth it to you. Coming back from cheating is a long hard road that requires time and committment and frustration. I know couples who've been together for 30 years who are still struggling to come back from cheating that happened 10 years ago. There are no quick fixes. And you need to ask yourself why you want to do this? Why settle for this?

Complicated
Love Hurts....
"I can relate"

Girl you are so better off without a guy like that in your life, trust. All cheaters will grovel and stay clean until they get you back and once they have you thay will immediately go back to their ways. Worse still, he is a cheater AND a liar. Get somebody who deserves and loves you.

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