Asked by levensgirl on
Is he just looking for a rebound girl?
I grew up with this guy, we dated for a couple months, didn't work out, no hard feelings, I stayed friends with his mom and he started dating someone else about 6 months after we broke up. Now four years later they broke up and now he's trying to be a part of my life again. I still have feelings for him. Should I try the whole friend thing or is he just coming back to me because it's comfortable?
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I agree. He is probably coming back to you because it is comfortable. But why is that bad? I understand that no one wants to be the "easy" girl. So don't be easy. Don't fall over for him just because he is paying you attention. But there is nothing wrong with being the girl he feels comfortable around. Hopefully that eventually translates to him recognizing what a good friend he has in you and the potential for a relationship. I say hopefully, because you can't control how he ultimately feels.
But what you can control is yourself and your boundaries. Are you willing to wait around while he pals around with you getting over a girl? Will you be FWB with him or will you hold off until he figures out that you are GF material? Decide what YOU want before you worry about what he wants.
He is looking for a rebound girl in some sense because he is seeking the company of a female shortly after a breakup. But this is not necessarily a negative thing, but you do need to be careful. How well do you know him? How comfortable are you for him?
First, attempting the friendship thing isn't a terrible idea, but make sure he is putting in effort and it is not just you being there for him. A better idea might be to not be there for him. Let him be alone for a while. If he truly wants you he will really go after it. If he's just looking for what's easy, then you would never be satisfied with him in the end.