The ugly truth is we are not willing to work on relationships we all want to have FUN

Dating is something that is quasi-necessary. It only matters for those who seek companionship for the long-term or other things (if their motives are otherwise). It would also be a lot easier if people didn't second guess themselves or read too much into things.

I'm one to speak as I've been rejected pretty much every single time (85% because I was told they desired someone of certain other ethnic group), the other 15% were already involved in a relationship so that was self-explanatory. For me, dating is something that's optional. The bottom line is dating can be great or horrible depending on a person handles it and themselves.

If you're confident and realistic, then dating will go a lot smoother than if you have a poor self-perception and take things too personally. Also putting things in perspective will lessen the 'suck' of dating (for those who would view it in a negative light), after all there are many things worse than dating.

I never consider a "first meeting' as a date so my expectations are very low when we meet. Unfortunately there are not many women out there willing just to meet without any expectations. Hopefully the first meeting will lead to a quality date in the future.

These days, the dating scene and traditional values pertaining to relationships and marriage has lost it's true purpose and meaning. Morals and Morale have deteriorated. Those good old days can never be replicated.

going though the bad ones, to get to the good ones.

The UGLY truth is that I am an over weight African-American female who more than likely will not date or get married.

the ugly truth about dating is passe the date with out doing any thing

The ugly truth is that you can't insist on having all the answers and definitely knowing your odds of rejection or happiness. You can either take a leap of faith or stay home. You'll never be able to know 100% if you're going to get hurt or not. That's the beauty and the hell of all of it. The unknown.

Dating is like juggling hand grenades...and it is also unpredictable. I find myself constantly thinking, "Does he like me,?" "Will he call back,?" "I'm horny, I wanna have sex with him, but will he lose respect for me after that if I give it up too soon?" The list goes on and on. My pro about dating: I get to explore my options. My con about dating: It may not be safe nor necessary.

The ugly truth about dating is how utterly predictable it is. Things are often as they seem, with the only delusion being that it *might* be different this time.

No wonder I hate dating. Or as Robert Heinlein wrote the "American form of prostitution"
who ever thought of this needs to be exhumed and burned at the stake!!!
O f course among the wealthy there is the "rent a guy" method much less stress.

I think the ugly truth about dating is that there's more settling than anyone would like to admit. We'll date people who aren't ideal, but sufficient until it becomes a major issue.

The ugly truth about dating is that you won't click with most of the people you date, and that it can be pretty discouraging.

remember dating is for fun

fun:having a nice time with a girl

pervert:pretend to have sex

unpervert:having fun and showing the good side of you

ugly truth : yay

men just want to have fun with them self
unlike us females want so settle down have a family and so on

but we are always telling men what to do... and we do have our ways tbe so dam picky

the ugly truth about dating, especially modern dating, is that a lot of it is going to happen via online dating services where potential candidates are summed up in three seconds (and then sometimes asked if they want to meet-up for a follow-up fifteen minute evaluation.)

The ugly truth about dating is that sometimes we take it much too seriously and other times we don't take it quite seriously enough. And problems abound when the approach doesn't fit the situation. But, like Qverb says, being ultimately comfortable with yourself (and hence your approach to dating), is a challenge in itself, but one that will pay off in droves, regardless of your lovestage.

The UGLY truth about dating is...

Its all to easy to blame our dating woes on other people instead of looking at ourselves and fixing the problem. If we don't break the cycles, if we don't work through our baggage, if we don't choose to take responsibility for ourselves, our well being, our happiness, and our total fulfillment then we don't see beyond the ugly truth of dating.

We're raised to believe in The Fairy Tales of love, not the truth of gritty romance. Sure, it's magical, but there is no "meant to be" beyond that we are willing to work and fight for. Girls want a prince, men want a porn star... we've all got to get our heads back into the real world and just be willing to talk through problems with someone who could otherwise be known as "our best friend."

The ugly truth can sometimes be that girls and guys have totally different expectations when it comes to dating and to make it work, you really just have to be open and flexible. If it's meant to be, in the end it will end up being more than just dating. :)

I think the ugly truth about dating is that often it's a lot of mind games between men and women, each trying to get what they want. But you have to be willing to put yourself out there, be honest, and take a risk sometimes in order to actually find what you're looking for.

OH, I don't even like the sound of that question. The UGLY truth is.....If you're looking for the dark side of a situation, you'll usually find it.

Life has it's challanges. We learn more about life, and ourselves, from the disappointments and challanges we encounter, than from the "ideal situations". Quite honestly,sometimes it's been some of those supposed "ideal situations" that have hit me over the head the hardest. I think it's called being 'delusional'.

Clear skies and smooth sailing are nice, but just like the couple that never argues, it produces very little growth. No doubt about it, just about anything worthwhile in life involves some pain, and then some growth. I'd rather look forward to the growth, than dwell on the pain.

i was in a relationship for three years with a guy who was perfection on paper, but not perfect for me. i have absolutely nothing negative to say about this ex, except that i didn't want to be with him for the long haul. and this is the ugly truth: that sometimes what you think you want and what you really need aren't the same thing. as nils said: perfection, or the idea thereof, isn't worth aiming for. there are multiple lids for every pot, and looking for the perfect lid isn't just silly, it's not fair to the other person you're trying on. sometimes the person who fits you best is exactly what you didn't have in mind.

so many ugly truths about dating! one of the worst i can recall from my days is when you KNOW there is a connection and then he disappears. so bewildering. makes you really second guess your judgment and intuition.

A total jerk can masquerade as a Zen Buddhist who demonstrates for good causes.

You probably have to seriously date at least one total jerk before you learn how to find the good guys.

The ugly truth is that I took the quiz at the movie website, and it said I was a guy two out of three times.

I think the ugly truth is that outward appearances matter more than we'd like to admit to ourselves. I know all the movies say we shouldn't—that beauty exists from within—but we all know better. We tend to make snap judgments within the first five seconds of seeing someone. It's just human nature. And sometimes, it's simply a matter of physical chemistry.

It's like 'Nam. There are no rules. And once in awhile everything blows up in your face.

I think the ugly truth about dating is that each person you date leaves a mark (some scars, some scrapes) that are there in a positive way for you to learn from and in a negative way for you to recover from. For each leftover mark you have to heal before you're genuinely capable of finding someone who will leave a lesser mark. But most people don't take the time or initiative to do this before they've engaged with another person.

Most singles are the walking wounded; they pray that their next relationship will help them heal (read that as forget) the last painful interchange they had, which of course it can't. So, for each new relationship you're bedding down with your date and their past. We just don't seem to be hard wired to believe that working this stuff out before we get into a relationship is a good idea. This behavior causes so much unnecessary pain in relationships and the worst part is, it's preventable.

I think the ugly truth is that it never gets easy. Sure there are moments, some of them unbelievably long, of sailing on the calm but the rest of it is work. Not always hard work, sometimes it's maintenance-level stuff, but work nonetheless. No one ever tells you that.

Also, pursuant to Nicole's answer, I'm not 100% sure that men's hearts are in their groins and women's hearts are in their heads, but we are definitely coming from two different places. Places where they have different customs, speak alien languages and follow disparate philosophies.

Great question, can't wait to see more answers.

The ugly truth is that its an excruciating vetting process, where people engage in passive aggressive tactics to ferret out who is the RIGHT one. When in truth there is no RIGHT one, just a handful of good ones. But to get to the good ones you have to go through countless numbers of rejections, hurts, insults, frustrations and superficialities and in the end the best you can hope is some flowers, a glass of wine and a marginally frustrating but worth it ever after.

The ugly truth about dating is that it usually consists of people hurting each other in varying degrees. Not everyone can like everyone, but when one person likes someone more than the other, someone can get hurt. Relationships can be even harder, but dating can be painful.

The ugly truth is that searching for perfection in someone else is a losing game. Searching for someone perfect for YOU is the way to go. Your ideals for what you are ultimately looking for will and should change because, in actuality, you DON'T KNOW. You may only have a vague sense of what you want and instead what you should be is open to the people you encounter and allow for the possibility of something new and different.

And what if what is happening is that age is catching up and the biological clock is ticking. I wish there was a way to get a short cut into the love thing. I wish there was a manual to follow

The ugly truth about dating is that inevitably, you'll have to sort through a lot of wrong matches to find the right person. You'll doubt yourself a ton in the process, but when you finally find that perfect fit, everything you are and everything you have wanted in another person will totally make sense. Meeting the right guy makes the years of dating uncertainty totally worthwhile.

I think that new Katherine Heigl/Gerald Butler movie is dead-on. The graphic they use have the heart of a woman in her head and the heart of the man in his, um, lower regions. I saw the commercial and thought - wow, they summed up everything about men and women and dating with one image.

Yes, there are exceptions, but in the end women are usually looking for soulmates while men are usually looking for a good time.

that it hurts and heals.