Asked by slotaporvida on
What makes a girl "girlfriend" material??
Every guy that I have ever dated never turned into anything special. Things would be great but they would just fizzle. I am not one to call and ask "what happened" or be the first to ask "where is this going?".
I never pressure guys. Should I?
I feel Im not girlfriend material. I have an armfull of tattoos. No, no flowers, hearts, fairies or rainbows but portraits, and lettering, and non girly tats. I love gangsta rap and lowrider cars. I can drink with the best of them and burp louder than most.
Also,I have always been self sufficient so I dont know how to show a man I need them. I would never show my weak side and most definitely never let them see me cry. Does all of this make me non-girlfriends material? Do guys really only date the whiny pushy delicate little princesses???
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when it comes to guys, there's all types of guys that love all types of girls. Some like skinny girls, some like heavier girls... some like tall ones, others like short ones... the only thing I can think of is that the men you are seeing see you as more of a friend than a girlfriend... the whole burping with the best of them... probably need to save that until you've been in a relationship with a man for a while... you need yourself a tough guy... a guy who wants a girl that is a tough girl... my boyfriend is like that. He hates whiny bitches--he always bitches at me when I get "too whiney" (more often recently since I've become pregnant)... so it's not that you're un-date-able... maybe you just need to be more flirty... they might think you don't want anything to progress with them!! Maybe they think you only saw THEM as friendship material! Just a few suggestions hun... good luck!
How long do your relationships last?! Just what IS IT YOU want in/out of a relationship?! Why do you feel you're NOT gf material?! If you feel you're not then you're not & then why bother & waste each other's time?! I would think there's someone in your area who has the same hobby's & likes that you do?! I have a tattoo myself, nothing like you do, but that's YOUR thing! You need to try & find someone who also shares in your interests so you can connect with the other person. Maybe these other guys did not share in your interests after they got to know you?! It can be a turn off to SOME guys who think women are TOO independent or act too much like their buddies! (That's why they HAVE buddies so they can relate & have other experiences that they don't have with you!) So, those are not the guys for you! There's ways of sharing & letting your guy know you need him than being a "whiny pushy delicate little princess" as you called them. I am not sure where you have met your past bf's, but maybe you need to look in different circles?! Do your friends know you're available?! Maybe you can enlist their help in aiding your search?! Every guy's taste in women will vary. So, don't sell yourself short! Look within yourself & ask yourself what you like in a guy, know what YOU contribute, just don't try & make to big of a list or be so strict you shoot every chance down! Best of everything to you! =)
Asking what makes a girl "girlfriend material" is like asking why some people love the color red instead of the yellow, or why they like being a vegan versus a carnivore...its just a matter of personal preference.
From what you are saying you have a lot going for you (in a lot of ways you sound like my GF and a really good friend of mine). Don't be so adamant about never showing your weak side or never crying in front of them. I'm not saying that you should weep and wail and be vulnerable to every guy all the time, but you'll find a guy that fits you just right eventually, and you'll both need to be vulnerable in front of each other at some point. Its part of the growth of intimacy that all couples go through.
Aside from that, change nothing. Really. Speak up on what you do want, if you find yourself wanting more in a relationship or if something comes up that may be an issue between you and a guy, but this isn't a total over haul of who you are. There are men out there looking for someone exactly like you, and some of them are going to be the type of guy you really want. You're allowed to be picky, a bit pushy, and all the other things that make us human. You'll find a man, or one will find you, who will deeply appreciate that you don't need him for financial support or anything like that, or even for some sort of weird validation. We all need a shoulder to lean on from time to time though, so be open to the idea of actually being a partner with a guy, someone who is your best friend, a great lover, a confidant, a commiserate, and an equal ready to share in all things in this life with you all at once.
Keep true to who you are and you'll find something more intense, more special, and that will last longer than the other girls that try to be something different from who they are so that they can get a guy...because your guy is going to be nuts for the real you!