Asked by ellapostitiva on
Is a guy still interested after you sleep with him on the 3rd date?
So this guy tells me he likes that he can't read me and that intrigues him, that he likes that I don't seem like most of the girls in his "bubble." He's told me he has fun with me and likes talking to me, while we laid in bed he was very affectionate and attentive to detail, looked at me with a smile in his face for a long time, caressed my face, and told me he wanted to date me, I was caugh off guard by that statement and panicked so I replied really? or why? something to that extent. The reason for my reply was because in the past I've been the rebound girl, the one wishing and hoping the guy I liked would like me and take an interest for me off the bat without still not over someone else. This was completely new to me and I feel like I totally screwed up. He doesn't seem interested anymore, Am I too late or can I still get him back?
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Confidence is a HUGE turn on. Lack of confidence is not. But there is a difference in being confident and being pushy/needy, so take caution. I personally think that waiting to sleep with someone is far better than jumping in the sack too soon. Adds mystery. Builds feelings and passion. Guys like the cat and mouse game. The chase of it all. I've done both . . .a lot. And when I've chosen to wait, the relationship has lasted a long time.
This last one, ten years and counting. As for you, go ahead and be direct. Let him know you're interested and for heaven's sake DON'T let him smell any doubt you may have in yourself.
I don't think that how soon you have sex has much bearing on how far a relationship will go. What's more important is whether the two of you have 'chemistry' (and from your description of your lovemaking it seems like you do) and whether each of you is neither too needy nor too aloof for the other.
To be honest, it doesn't sound like you have a guy problem at all. It sounds more like you have a you problem. This guy laid some big compliments on you and they clash with your own self image so much that you are having a hard time accepting them. But that self image probably came from some stupid thing that happened to you when you were practically a baby, that you didn't understand then and maybe don't even remember now. This guy has started falling for you, that's real, and that's about who you really are.
You are obviously attractive -- unattractive women worry about finding men, not keeping them -- guys feel safe with you, and this particular guy feels something good about you that he doesn't even understand. But maybe guys feel a little too safe with you. And maybe this guy is worried that you are going to want to use him to complete yourself. It might do you both some good if you worried as much about whether you could be doing better for yourself as you do about how to keep him.
Most relationships don't work out. Chances are this one won't either. So instead of worrying about how to keep the guy, focus on enjoying him as much as you can while he's around and make sure that you have a life with some friends and possible romantic interests to fall back on when one of you decides it's time to move on. Not coincidentally, those are exactly the same things that will make you more attractive to the right kind of guy for you.
In my experience, when you show any bit of lack of self confidence or second guess yourself, men see that as a sign of weakness and run. Men like a strong, confident woman in and out of bed...So when he mentions that he wants to date you, you should say something that keeps him on his toes. It's all a game, stupid as it is. I would leave this guy alone for a while, see if he comes around. Watch the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" too. If a guy wants to see you, he will see you. Thats my 2 cents from an old divorced chick.
yup, but make sure the nigth was awsome so he will call back he will date you again
and then youll get married
Oh, I slept with my guy on night #2. I was positive it would only be a one time thing, but he called multiple times. You'll be suspicious, but not all men have bad intentions, and if he really likes you, it wouldn't matter if you slept with him on day one or made him wait to rip our wedding gown off. Give it a try, thingws might work out better than you expect.
I don't think you're too late if he really likes you... in all honesty, I've slept with every man I've dated since I lost my virginity before I started dating them... typically for me, it makes the guys more interested because they are intrigued by the kind of girl to do that... it also helps that I'm very relationship oriented so it's kind of like I'm the best of both worlds... but we're talking about you here. I think it's possible that you may have scared him off by being so self conscious about why he would like you. Guys love girls who are confident. I get that it is harder for you because of your past as a "rebound girl".. but not every guy is going to make you his rebound girl.. some guys will truly like you for you! So look at yourself in the mirror, realize you're beautiful, and go get your man :-)