Asked by CallMeCrazyJane on
Sensitivity
My SO and I got into an argument last night. It came down to me being overly sensitive to various comments that he makes. This is true. I am too sensitive at times, and have a tendency to take things personally when they shouldn't be.
After I had said my piece, I was frustrated and was thinking. This frustrated him. He said a few things that hurt me, like he doesn't know how much longer he is going to stick around if this continues, and he has no problem leaving. It upset me. I just asked him if it would be that easy for him, and he said yes. We talked more after that, and the argument was settled, but it still really bothers me that he said that.
I love him (which he doesn't know yet), and it would be difficult for me to just leave the relationship, so it's difficult for me to hear him say things like that to me. I am wondering if he was just saying that out of anger, or if that is really true? Afterward, he seemed to be overly nice to me.
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I think it's more complicated than just saying you are too sensitive. If his comments hurt you, then he should adjust a little bit how he says things. It's not that you're right and he's wrong (or the other way round), it's just that you need him to talk to you a certain way.
I think his threatening to leave was very hurtful and unfair. If it was true, you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you that much. I think it's more likely he lost his temper or was just trying to make you do things his way, but I don't think that's okay.
I think you need to talk to him some more about all of these issues. I think you also need to find out if he loves you.
I think that you should be honest about how you feel and where you would like the relationship to go. If he is in the same place as you are, then you guys can have a discussion about the best way to communicate.