Asked by sTaYzZsiiNgLe on
what do men want? pt2
Lol i kind of messed up the other one I'm new here so learning. But ok my question, what do men want? Women go through life always stating and letting it be known about what kind of men they need/want but I think we never stop and ask well what I wonder what he is looking for? So as far as relationships go, men what are four main things that you look for in women that would make you consider dating them? Besides the physical, say she id everything you want on the outside but what about mentally. I find myself scratching men off the list due to feeling as if they just won't match up with me, but the thing is I won't even give them a chance. It is very confusing maybe you all can help me, but for now the question still stands, what do men want?
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In the long run, you'll find men wanting the same thing that women want. The disparity here is that not all men want the same thing just as not all women want the same thing. It really boils down to what you want for yourself and how you approach dating. This is entirely up to you. If you know that you aren't giving the men you've dated a fair shake at getting to know you and vice versa then you may want to look at why you have a hard time even starting to let someone else in. If you really know for certain that the guys you've dated just definitely do not match with you, just aren't what you are looking for, or have definitely waved red flags that your experiences have dictated as things to look out for then just keep doing what you are doing and you'll find a guy that fits with what you want.
For myself, I need to know that I can rely on my partner to be able to take care of herself and not rely on me for her happiness, fulfillment, or personal well being. A partner like that is someone I can trust, that I know will communicate well with me, will work to find solutions to our problems, and can be an equal with me in the relationship.
I want marriage, the house, the family, all of that, but I also want a woman who will be a great mother to my children, who can agree with my core values as those are things I wish for my children to learn, and who also has her own opinions that she can back up so that my children can learn to be open to new ideas as well as learn how to properly stand their ground after hearing all of the facts and views and understand that it is fine to change their minds.
On the just for me side, she needs to be sarcastic, a bit of a brat, able to act silly and play, and have a healthy sexual appetite.
It goes far deeper than all of this for me, but I really only started having great relationships when I stopped focusing on what women want and started paying much more attention to what I want.
A woman's opinion -
Men, in general, want three things from women:
1) Love from one special women.
2) Sex from any attractive woman.
3) Approval/admiration from all women.
Each person has their own list. Many times it boil's down to how a person feels when thry are with another. Wheather the core values and respect for boundary. Many time those conflict. Many people think that those do not count . For instance spying snooping: for me means immediate rejection period. I am a very private person. That boundary must be respecter of else. Being on the same wavelength sexually, etiquette not putting my/our/ her business on the street. Keeping mouth shut even when she disagrees in public or when talking to public officials. I am street smart as well as book smart. I need to trust they won't blurt out something that will cause me to lose money or get them hurt.
That mean internal disagreement are settled behind closed doors.
An example: my Gf and I were moving item from my deceased parents estate in an open trailer. after we were packed she decide she was hungry. The neighborhood where we were passing through was very bad and stopping unsafe. So I said no. She was not street smart and did not recognize the danger, (this is where carjacking was the national sport!!). She was mad at me for days still not realizing how dangerous it was. That is the kind of foolishness naive people bring.
Speaking for myself only: 1) has to love God and put Him first (that's the only way any relationship will work, as far as I'm concerned); 2) have a sense of humor (I love to laugh and have a good time); 3) be independent (nothing wrong with wanting a man, but she shouldn't NEED one); 4) intelligence (she should have an opinion on what goes on in the world; if her world revolves around reality TV, I'm outta there!)