Asked by ScottJnsn on
Sensitive vs. Cold
What is with the "Bad boy complex" that girls like so much? Sure I can be tough, and strong, and adventurous, but not wild. Some girls are attracted to radical behavior and lack of manners and I do not get it. I know we are a very open and sexual society nowadays, but why are people acting so slutty?
When I love someone, my heart is overtaken. I can be sensitive and emotional. I love being intellectual and try to connect on many levels, both mentally and physically. I love being open, and explore my partners desires, goals, likes, etc. and vice versa with me, I am an open book. I guess sometimes that intense devotion to involvement can scare someone away. It's happened to me before.
Point is, I don't understand why girls will go out with someone, and be hurt and do it all over again with someone else. Sure, we are not psychic, but still sometimes it's dead obvious. Why are nice guys usually chosen last?
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I, for one, hate bad boys. They are obnoxious and annoying. I like a guy who is everything you listed (re: tough, strong, adventurous), but knows when to call it quits. Though a little mischief can be a good thing too. What I think girls see in the "bad boy" is 1) a guy who isn't spineless. Spinelessness in guys is positively awful to endure. So if you are the type of nice guy who can't make a decision to save his life, always goes with the flow, and/or prefers to shower a girl in gifts rather than make them angry... I'd like to say grow a pair. A girl needs a little shaking up once in a while. Don't make her make all the decisions (ie. where to go out for dinner, what movie to see, etc.)... This also falls into the category of waiting for her to make the first move. Being sensitive to her wants and needs is a good thing, but once in a while all a girl wants is to be backed into a corner, grabbed around the neck, and pulled into a passionate kiss. If she protests, do it anyway (so long as you don't cross the fine line of sexual harassment). And for goodness sake, if you've been eyeing a girl from across the room for the past two months, ask her out already!!
2) girls enjoy a "fixer-upper." The bad boy often presents the perfect specimen. These girls project what they have grown up with (ie father, brother, etc) onto their potential mate and swear to make them a changed man. Not only will they have a sense of accomplishment, but bad boys who do good things are ten times more attractive. Basically, she wants to know she's needed or rather... she wants to think she's needed (read here: If it were up to my boyfriend, he'd be living on a liquid diet... what will he ever do without me?). What they need to realize is a bad egg is a bad egg, he's never going to change! Especially if he's in his mid-thirties! Ladies reading this... please wisen up!
Now how to remedy the situation? That is the tough part. To answer I'd need to know more details. If you are of a spineless sort, well then you need to find a back bone! And if you are out there looking for a girl who is actively pursuing these bad boys then you ought to start looking elsewhere. For the most part, confidence not cockiness and a clever sense of humor will attract the best of them.
Word to the wise, openness never scared anyone away. It's what you expect in return that can be the scary part. Additionally, sharing too much (think here: My doctor says the rash isn't contagious anymore) can be problematic, as well. Save the intimate little details about your mole shaped like Lincoln's top hat for later.
Overlooked for somone that they are used to dating. When a women always dates the rude mean asshole so to speak that is all she is goin to date until she either one grows up, or two opens her mind as far as dating a variety of men instead of the same old news. It's not that nice guys are usually chosen last, it's just the simple fact that the woman that feels your the type of guy she wants has not yet found you.