Asked by Dante on
How do I get over first date nerves?
I'm very new to the dating world and would really like some advice to get over first date nerves. What's a good prep for myself?
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Well the night of the big date I would have my best gal pals over to help me get ready. It's the best way to get the edge off and they will always help you pick something to wear! Besides your friends know your best attributes and they will shower you with them right before heading out the door so you walk out feeling FABOULOUS & CONFIDENT!
Friends can't come over???
Crank up the volume while getting dressed! Put on your favorite tunes on and dance and sing along. Being silly right before a date rids you of any inhibitions and let's you be charming during your date.
Ah, first date jitters. First, try to think about what makes you nervous. If it's impressing the guy, that's normal. He's probably a bit nervous also. If you think you'll make a fool of yourself, everyone does sometimes. On my first date with one guy, I spilled my drink on the table (on the phone, on my lobster, on myself, on the floor, it was a red face moment for the rest of the night), but I laughed, then he laughed, and the kind waitress also laughed. Dating is about learning to enjoy yourself and the company of someone else. There shouldn't be any pressure to do anything except have fun.
Be confident, smile, be honest, open, and true to yourself and you'll begin to feel more comfortable in the dating game. Best of luck!
Dating confidence comes from personal confidence. The more insecure you are, the more nervous you'll be on a date. It all boils down to self image.
It's kind of like VERY intimate public speaking. Most adults fear public speaking more or as much as death, so you can see where the issue lies. The thing to remember is this. Most of the people you date are not going to be compatible with you. It isn't good, it isn't bad, it just is. If you know going in that the healthy attitude starts with getting to know what's what and looking for "deal breakers" you'll be less nervous.
Also, with public speaking, proper preparedness goes a long way toward combating jitters. The more you know about your subject, the less worried you need be. Since your subject is you, the only real problem is making sure your breath doesn't stink, you hair is passable and you aren't dressed like a Wal-Mart mom from central Kentucky. Most guys are pretty forgiving.
Remember to listen, remember to reply. If the guy isn't good at maintaining a conversation, that's his issue. Be interesting, clean and human, and your half is done.
The best advice I can give is to really just have fun. I know, easier than it sounds. Dates are definitely there for you to find out if that guy across the table from you is worth going on other dates with and eventually becoming more, but its a lot easier if you just focus on the moment and forget about the future.
Have fun. Relax and be yourself as much as possible (I know, first dates usually have everyone acting on their best behavior). He is probably just as nervous as you.
Aside from this, the only other remedy is to just keep on dating. Some people tend to think of dating as an interview. Some look at it as a necessary evil. I look at it as a mini adventure where I get to meet someone new. Whether the experience is good or bad doesn't matter since it gives me a great new story to tell, and I may end up with someone who wouldn't mind playing with me in my sand box!
So have fun. Focus just on the date and being as genuine as you can be. If the chemistry isn't right then there will be other dates.