Asked by WENDYLUV79 on
Should a wife try to intiate sex more when now her husband has stopped, for an unknown reason?
I wrote my first question about the decrease in sex in my marriage. The first reponse I got seemed to lean on the side I was in some way being pushy about the subject with him.
Come on now I know about the whole ED thing with men, confidence in general when their lady loses weight and starts feeling better about herself! It's not all that, I know b/c we have very open candid discussions about all of this, another reason why I am concerned...
If I have been open and honest & now I am the one stepping up my game and initiating the sex and just in general cuddling/snuggling so he gets the idea - & then we still don't - I am left confused (& horny!) Should I even try to initiate this or let him come to me, seems like it should go both ways - why not, right! Especially if maybe his confidence is down a little... (& he just doesn't want to say that to me)
Any feedback??
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Agreed with those before that we don't know what's going on with his work life/other stresses... my best advice, if he seems stress-free... compliment him... a compliment can go a long way... then wait a little and see how he reacts... and go from there with intiating "the act".
Looking at your earlier question, I think it's about his work, not you. The best way for you to get more sex is going to be helping him feel less stressed out. I don't know what would work for him - a massage, going swimming, not doing the dishes, talking to you, whatever works. Even if you do it all, he may still not be in the mood.
I don't know whether or not you should initiate sex. Is the problem that you wish he would initiate it more or that you think he'd like it better if you don't initiate it? If he likes it when you do initiate it, I think you should keep doing it and not worry too much that he won't initiate it right now. If he doesn't like it, you might want to try waiting.
You might also try some indirect techniques like watching action movies, talking about sex, etc. Good Luck!
I don't know if he's going through some sort of stress right now (money, job, etc), but you can try some romantic things (nice dinner, night out in a romantic setting, etc), leave some love notes for him...things like that.