there's plenty of info about safe sex out there, but it's not so cut and dry in relationships. you said he's your 1st and you weren't sure about a relationship in the 1st place. good for you. you are young and mature enough to realize that you don't have the answers and you might want to do some research before making a final decision. i honestly can say bravo, many girls would only be fantasizing about "the big day".in time you realize no relationship is easy and many times you'll find those things that you found quirky and cute are the 1st things to start driving you nuts after 2 years of it. it sounds like you already know the answers to your questions and i understand why you're scared to be alone and i understand having self esteem issues, but that can't be a reason to settle, have a man who doesn't know you're settling, and i'm sure you heard this before,but you're coming up on an age where friends start going different directions. get out there and have some experience or at least give your man the decency to have someone who adores being with him.

Tbone is pretty on it there. I'd add that if you know you have self-esteem issues that are causing problems for you in this relationship they won't just go away when you find someone else. If you can, get some counseling for those issues. I've done it myself and it has helped me out in more ways than I can list!

As far as "the one" goes, there are a couple different lines of thought on that, but I think you'll find a general agreement on this; Odds are there is more than just one guy out there who could be "the one" for you. Very rarely does a relationship just fall together and work out for the best. 99% of the time they need a lot of work, a lot of nurturing, patience, and time.

Before doing anything drastic, take some time to really look at your relationship. Can the problems that you have be fixed? Can you really see yourself with him in the future? If you leave this relationship will you be able to keep the issues that affected this one from affecting the next one?

Lastly, you may not enjoy hearing this, but 19 is young. You have a lot of time ahead of you to discover yourself and what you really want for your future. You don't have any reason to rush out and find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Take the time to figure out what you want for your life first, and there is no need to rush on that either.

You have a lot of things going on here. First, you're wondering if he's "the one," which seems to imply that there is something else that is missing (at least in your eyes). Next, you're getting annoyed with him very easily. That sounds like a way out for you. Then, you say something about your "self-esteem." But, you go back to the first point when you conclude with "imagining your soul mate."

You ar not really in love with him. Don't be afraid to be alone, but don't keep him around and hope for someone better. That's not fair to him.