Asked by PattyM78 on
What do you think about bringing another female into the bed?
Ive been in this relashionship for over 13 years. And I would love to bring a female into bed with us. I have no clue how to go about doing this. And I think he would be ok with it. We have spoken of this. But what do you think? Is it wrong or a bad idea. Or do you think its a great idea. And how should I find someone to join us?
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My boyfriend and I have been looking into doing this for a while now... but the best way, I think, is for one of your to mainly do it for the other person--that way, there's no jealousy. There need to be ground rules set between the two of you about your relationship and what you want vs what he wants... how you want it to end up and things you just won't stand for (one of mine is that I won't let him cum in her... it's too personal to me and I don't know what kind of birth control the girl is on most of the time). So talk to him about it to be sure you're both on the same page and prepared for the jealous that could occur. All in all, I've been told it's helpful to excite your relationship again.
In practice I'm not against the idea, but personally I am. For me, whether it was another girl or guy doesn't matter, but sharing my partner with someone else would be a problem.
That said, it may not be the same for your husband, but you might want to really make sure that he is wanting the same thing, that you both have thought about all of the ramafications of this, that any questions or concerns be put out there before it happens, and, if need be, that you lay down any rules for how you want each other to conduct yourselves during the threesome. Make sure that all of that has been definitely taken care of.
As for finding someone to join in your play, can't really help there. You may want to look around the non-monogamy section of Your Tango for commenters that are in open relationships or engage in swinging. They may be able to help you with finding a safe partner to join in your play.
Best of luck to you!
Go for it! If you are sure your partner is open to this, surprise him and see how it goes. I suggest you find someone you know and trust for the fist time.