Asked by sweetpain on
How to manage anger after a break-up?
How do I deal with all the anger build up after the break up?? I get so angry at my ex that I want to explode. Just thinking that we broke up - it wasn't 100% mutual, he wanted it more, and he started dating another girl right away, like he couldn't wait to get rid of me - it makes me furious. I want to stop all this anger and be at peace. I'm trying to take it one day at a time - keep busy ect. Are there any other ways?
Post new comment
tbone, he kinda gave up on the whole relationship and I guess in the end wanted the break-up more than I did. I was ready to push for more. It was just never meant to be. I knew the relationship was going down, and the thing is I was waiting for him to do something, since it was his second chance, but he gave up. It was getting bad.
Anyway, thank you for all your replies. I am slowly moving on. The anger was all about the way he acted after the break-up, jumping into a new relationship - without considering my feelings in a way even though it was over. I know I am better off. With time I know I will be just fine.
Ps. I have another question - will I ever love another as much as I loved him? He was my first love and all, but I wonder if I will find someone who will make me feel the same? I know time will tell, but do you have any advice on this?
OK...you said that he wanted it more, which would imply that he tried harder to make it work than you did. If that is indeed true, then what are you upset about? If you really wanted things to work, you would have put in more effort, right? As for him dating someone else so soon (according to how you feel, that is): he's probably just afraid of being alone. If he was really into the relationship, then he didn't get over you as quickly as you think. That person he's dating is a rebound relationship.
You have to give it time........ and then it will all calm down and make sence.
First, you have to realize where your anger is coming from: YOU. You are angry with yourself for investing your emotional energy into someone that obviously didn't deserve it. Unfortunately, he skipped off into the sunset, and you've not had any real closure to the relationship. He was slipping away before he made the break, but you didn't see it, or weren't prepared to see it. I suggest that you write it out- this has worked for me. You write out all of the reasons why you are angry- then write out all of the reasons why he is worth putting even MORE of your energy into him. Fold this up, and put it in the freezer and literally "freeze" the energy. Once you calm down, and soften the energies around you, you will see that you're able to say "next". Hard, angry energy is the same as an insect repellant. You aren't going to attract someone new until that is gone.
I agree with Qverb- you will realize that he isn't worth this amount of effort.
The best thing is to just give it time and express yourself, talk to friends or family, or us here on YourTango and let all of the emotions out. Once you cope with the breakup you'll be much better off.
I think that is about all that you can do until you realize he really isn't worth getting upset over. Its not that his actions aren't worth being irate about, but that he as a person just really isn't worth your time or energy. When you can hit that mode of thought then all will be right with the world again.