Asked by Shana Moonmist on
Why are guys so quick to judge today?
I understand that alot of us have been hurt... but the constant judging is driving me batty! Why not give a women a chance to prove herself before judging her based on just a few days of conversations!
Post new comment
True, we can be very judgemental. But so can women. It's our mentality. Like others have said, we operate on a different wavelength than women. We take first impressions very critically. Sometimes too critically. and we can jump to conclusions. We are not perfect.
True we have all been hurt in someway or another, but that doesnt mean we cant give women a chance. Maybe change your approach to men, and your the outcome will be different. Not all men are the same anyways.
I have noticed the same thing, especially among Black men who seem to be growing more and more judgmental and critical of African American women. They often use these harsh criticisms in a sweeping generalizing way and apply the few experiences they've had with a few women to EVERY SINGLE BLACK WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
But see, then they can justify going off with a woman of another race. See, then its not their fault they did that, they can blame EVERY SINGLE BLACK WOMAN IN THE WORLD for "pushing" him into the arms of a White or Asian woman. Bunch of nonsense.
Men are bigger and more muscular than women, but are weaker emotionally. They don't bounce back. And they love to use excuses so they don't have to take responsibility for their choices and any behaviors they exhibited which contributed to the previous breakups. Oh no! Instead, they point the finger of blame at EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD as being the fault and the reason they can never love anyone again.
If I were you and ran into such a guy, I would just walk away. As soon as he said that crap, I'd just up and leave him sitting there with his excuses. No woman needs a weak, scary man in her life.
To start, if you're gonna make a blanket statement like that, don't just make it about guys. Lots of women are like this, more women than guys I believe (but I could be wrong). Either way its not just one sex who is at fault for this.
You'll need to accept that some people have really been hurt that badly in the past and just don't have the strength or aren't brave enough to take a chance. It sucks, and I feel sorry for them because it rules out a lot of really great relationships, but that is their choice.
This has no reflection on you though. If the guy you chatted with decided not to go there after a few conversations with you, and he doesn't really know you that well, then that is his choice. If you take it personally when the guy was being impersonal about his decision then you'll just drive yourself crazy.
Also, if he can sense that in you in the first few conversations then that may also be the reason he chose to look somewhere else. Many women can tune in and catch glimpses in the first couple dates if a guy is needy or controlling or any other number of red flags. A lot of guys can catch these hints as well. If your dates are getting a red flag vibe from you then you might want to take a look at yourself and see why its important for you to be heard and given a fair chance by every guy you date. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't happen. Either you'll both click, one of you will click, or there will be no clicking...although in some cases their is a little more interest perked up in both parties, which leads to a couple more dates until they've decided that they're clicking now or it was just their imagination.
If you are taking simple dates this personally then it sounds like you'll have some difficulties in the relationship, so rather than getting crazy about each date just look at them as mini-adventures, not interviews or proving grounds. If you go on a date to have fun then the whole thing changes and you may actually have some fun instead of what sounds more like an interview!