Asked by eye_love_ewe on
Why is moving to a new stage in a relationship so stressful?
My BF & I met online a few months ago. After several weekends spent together [he lives 4 hours away], he is moving to my area. Up until now things have been really great, fun, we are super compatable in many important ways and I fell totally in love with him. Our communication in general is quite good imho.
Now I find myself stressed out and picking out all kinds of little things to get annoyed about him and wondering if this is the 'right' decision... I get a little obsessive about this. I really don't want to sabatoge this relationship. I want to keep the love and make it stronger. Any suggestions?
Post new comment
Thanks bookmama! That is great advice ... we've talked a bit about 1 & 2 but maybe not enough. This makes me feel better. Thank you!!
I think anxiety about the move is probably making you focus on his faults. This is kind of natural - you two are moving your relationship to a new stage. It's good to think about the issues, so long as you don't make yourself crazy.
Some of it may be insecurity about what he will think of you, too, not just worry that he isn't perfect.
A few ideas that might help:
1) Figure out exactly what you are anxious about and then talk to him about your fears.
2) Think about what boundaries you want in your relationship, even if they could change later (separate places or time alone for example).
3) Think about what has worked really well for you two in the past and do more of it when he is with you.
4) Enjoy the good times.