I so agree with melanie, this sounds like a solid friendship and the 2 of you know each other and are fond of each other. Listen you have to decide if you are okay with things being the way they are right now. A "title" is so over rated. whatever signal you send, make sure that is what you mean. This isn't so complcated- you got pass the akward part which was next morning after the first time..... talk about uncomfortable huh.....

uhhmm .. no comment ..

Lissa,

I don't think it's TOO complicated, but certainly it's not easy. I hear that. If you want to exit the romantic part and just get back to being friends, try to be less available to him. Fill your life up with other people, events, etc and be there for him via text or phone but not in person. Have you considered dating anyone else, even causally? That would send a clear signal to him that you're not committed to a romantic relationship with him but that you are looking for romantic partner(s) to spend time with.

People will assume that if you're affectionate with someone, and not spending time with anyone else, that you're romantically involved with that person. It's just human nature. Seems he thinks the same thing. If you want to pull back or send a different message, you simply have to do that. Your friendship can survive if it's a legitimate friendship and you're honest about how you feel. It may take some time, but you two can get through this. And you never know, making your feelings known by pulling back may inspire both of you to address the underlying issue which is what is really going on between you!

Hope this helps!
Melanie

thanks for the answer Melanie.

In all honesty this relationshiop can't go anywhere right now. He is aking care of his mentally ill mother and 2 young children. I'm living home with my mother since my dad died. So we are in agreement that our lives are a little out of sync. Our friendship is important to both of us. I'm just not sure how to maintain the friendship. We enjoy each others company and seems like the last several months have turned into a "psuedo" relationship. And it all feels so good and right to me but I know that I personally am not ready for a "serious" relationship myself.

Im just don't think he believes me when I tell him that. I guess maybe we are both giving each other mixed signals. we show affection towards but he isn't ready to say yeah we're "together" cause he is still married. but everyone around here just assumes we are a couple. i.e. I talk to a mutual friend in the store and he sends messeges thru me.

Is this way to complicated and How do you exit this kinda situation?

Hey Lissa,

Great question. I think sex between friends is always the cause for some confusion. I suppose how you react is really dependent on what you want to happen. Do you want to remain just friends? Or do you want something more from him? I'm married to my best friend (and we were best friends before we became more), so I know personally that friendship is the best seed for a good relationship. Question is, do you want to see something bigger grow, or are you happy with the current arrangement/

Let me know; I'll have more to offer once that detail is filled in.

Take care,
Melanie