Asked by lady rukus on
Should i wait for him or move on?
He says he wants to be friends for now and get to know each other better then see if we can try us out again.we we like each other a lot and i thought we were meant for each other but then he told me this heart breaking information.
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Lady Rukus, it sounds like you need some TLC. Go easy on yourself (easier said than done). I have been there and it's not easy to feel like this. If you're meant for each other, nothing he says or you say can prevent you from being together. Whenever that might be.
In the mean time, please try to take gentle, loving care yourself right now. It would be REALLY easy to bash yourself and keep rerunning old scenes in your brain. This is frustrating and painful. What do you like to do? Do you like bubble baths with candles? Do you have a favorite comedy that makes you laugh? What's your favorite flavor of coffee, or do you drink tea? Do you have a favorite outfit? Do you like animals? Flowers? How about farmer's markets? What are some things you like to do just for you? Are you an artist of any kind? Do you like dancing? I'm sending you love and telling you I've been there. I encourage you to do something loving for yourself if you can. Warm hugs...
How long are you going to let him have control...I mean wait for him?
Is funny how we girls are always willing to wait, BUT WHY? and FOR WHAT? life doesn't wait life keeps going and so do they, i bet they are dating going out hooking up with everything that has a skirt!...SO again WTH we have to wait for him or her to make up their mind i don't think so, u need to get out there and date even if u don't think this guy is the one u don't have to marry the next idiot that pays for ur lunch or dinner a free meal is always good and it leaves u with some $$ to do ur hair and nails 4 the next date. U can make him believe ur waiting for him but he doesn't have to know about ur life is not his problem keep it under the table, they do the same thing all the time. We need to be like cats cover everything up like men do, now i'm not saying go sleep with every dude NO NOT AT ALL, but if that's what does idiots think that's their problem u make it very clear it's just a date don't get ur hopes up...LIVE LIFE DAMMIT GO OUT AND PLAY THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL PLAYGROUND ENJOY IT! good luck! :)
I'm waiting, not so patiently for the man that told me how much he loved me, every day for the past 8 months. We are not talking at all right now. I got the feeling he needed space, so I'm giving it to him. The last text I sent him was 'call/text when you can' and I haven't called or texted him since and neither has he, it's been a month now. If it's meant to be it will be. I recommend the movies 'He's just not that into you' and 'serendipity'. Both good movies with lessons to be learned. I believe that if we are soulmates, that he will find his way back to me. He had married very young and is recently divorced after 20 yrs of marriage. I think he's got 'oats to sew', he needs to get it out of his system. I am trying my best to go on living my life, going out with friends, putting on that happy face, like it doesn't bother me, but every day that goes by that I don't see a text message, it hurts - a lot, I cry, but I will not contact him. He needs to find his way. 'if you love someone set them free, if he comes back he's yours, if not, he never was'. Be strong, be independant, don't wait for him, life is too short. Your true love could be out there looking for you, while you are at home waiting. That's no way to live. If it's meant to be it will be - Serendipity.
if it didnt work out last time, getting to know each other better before trying again makes total sense. i know its hard to accept but if its meant to be it will work out. nicole is right; you cant put your life on hold. if you meet someone else, you will either move on, or he will come to his senses and realize you are supposed to be with each other. waiting is hard, but if you think you two are right for each other, than maybe its worth it. just dont get too caught up in waiting; i know from experience that it will tear you apart. im going through almost the same thing right now. i know i cant tell you what to do, but in my opinion i think you should stick it out for a bit. just dont pass up other opportunities because you are set on waiting for someone. ive been through that too. :
I understand what you are going through... they tell you...I love you and then say I need space and time to decide what I want... Well give him time and maybe you will decide that he wasnt the one for you afterall and then he will be saying... Why did I let her go once he realizes that he was wrong.. Keep smiling and just know that it wasnt your fault...Men are so wired differently then women. Dont wait around...live your life still and see other people...cause he is probably doing the same! :0)
Why not try being friends? It won't hurt to get to know each other better, just make sure there's no hooking up or sex. After all, he's the one who said friends right? ;)
Having said that, if you meet a nice guy and want to go out then go for it. If he protests you can always say that he wanted to be friends, not date. You shouldn't put your life on hold for someone else no matter how much you love him.