Asked by cupidsfool on
Should I get back with my ex boyfriend?
First off let me just say that everyone who loves me or cares about me says I should forget about my ex boyfriend. My friends and family hate him. He tells me he loves me and not to let other people control my life. Apart of me still loves him but apart of me feels like I should not trust him. I am confused. I can picture a happy life with him but I wont be completely happy because I am afraid that my family will disown me. The only reason why he wants me is because he doesn't have me right now. I broke up with him over a month ago because I realized that I was in a bad relationship. I feel like I am falling for him again though with his easy words. My heart says yes but logically the bad out weigh the good. I wish he would have changed sooner like when we were still together. He did not realize what he had until he lost it. I need advice fast.
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Ask yourself why you broke up with him in the first place, there's a reason why you broke up with him, so why try to fix something that did not work out in the first place?
I know it's hard to try to move on, but your better off moving on. This guy just realized that he lost something good and now he wants it back because he can't have it. You cant make him change only he can, any your better off going on with your life because if you werent happy then, what makes you think you'll be happy with this time around?
Be strong, but be smart and don't fall into his little trap, especially if everyone around you is tellign you that your better off with out him.I hope you make the right decision and remeber, relationships are supposed to be filled with happiness and joy not sadness. Good luck!
I broke up with my ex and I had A LOT of doubts. My family told me I was better off, but I didn't believe them. I went back to my ex a few times but maybe i was just horny or addicted to it. Once I gave it some time like a few months it started going better, and now I'm glad I did & still single...lol
My ex whom i just ended things with sounds JUST like your ex. Controlling, gets mad easy, doesnt like my friends or family. My only advice would be RUN and don't look back. I took him back once and it was a mistake! He said he changed and things would be different, well they were in the beginning and slowly started going back to the way they were before, some where worse though. He would get upset if i would wear makeup, he said i was much prettier without it, but i felt horrible if i didn't have it on, didn't like any of my friends because they weren't up to his standards. one he never met but didn't anyways. and yes there is always a good reason why he done what he did no matter what it was. He was always in the right and I was always in the wrong. Agrued over every little thing in the world, from money to how to raise the kids to who was doing the dishes or running the vacuum. He cheated on me before that's why we split to begin with, I got pregant with his son, and the whole time i never knew he had a fiance in another state!!! So yes i was an idiot for taking him back anyways but i wanted it to be right for my son, well we just recently split because in his mind i was cheating on him....(guilty is always the most suspicious!!!) well we got into an argument and he hit me, i never seen so much anger and rage in his eyes as i did that day, and it was totally unexpected so unlike him. But looking back, i see all the signs that i ignored,,, and i wish i hadnt ignored them, then maybe i wouldnt be another number,,,another victim. But i am getting better with each passing day, they still havent caught him and it's been almost 2 months! JUST RUN!! don't take him back for whatever reason he gives...... you said it yourself.....you were scared when you were with him! what kind of relationship is it if you are always wondering if the other person is cheating on you? If you are always wondering where they are or who they are with or if what they are telling you is the truth?? It's an unhealthy one! Just wait...someone will come along and treat you the way you deserve and you won't know what to think, it will be wonderful...just wait it out..... and good luck to you!!!!
Stick with your decision. Obviously u broke up with him for a reason. My bf broke up with me 3 months ago and we were in a 7 yr relationship. It was the hardest time of my life. I thought I would never love again. I thought I was going to be alone. This relationship was bad for me too only I was too blinded by love to notice all the red flags. You need to listen to ur intuition and move on. I have moved on myself and I cannot express how much happier I am. The breakup was a blessing in disguise and I am sure you will see that someday.
I felt like I was in a bad relationship because he would put me down and be verbally abusive to me at times. When I was with him I didn't feel pretty. He was controlling too. I wasn't allowed to go out with my girlfriends. He didn't spend my birthday with me because he was mad at me the night before because my girlfriends took me out to party for my birthday. Every time I invited him out with my friends he ended up leaving me and making a big scene in front of my friends. That's why my friends don't like him because of his behavior. Everything gets justified though when I feel like he does something wrong. He blames me for being the way he is/was. According to him he had the right to get mad at me in front of my friends. I was scared when I was with him. I was always afraid he was going to cheat on me or leave me. I think it was pretty unhealthy. I just want to know if he has the ability to change. Thanks for your advice (^_^)
First - you can't let your family be involved in your relationship. It is YOUR relationship - not theirs.
My opinion is that people don't generally change within the SAME relationship. I am basing this off my experiences and some stories of friends. For instance...my relationship with my ex was an "emotional rollercoaster" and the bad outweighed the good, but I felt so in love that I based my staying with him only on the good - ignoring the bad. Well, that was a BAD idea. As much as I hoped for change, things only got worse. I mean sometimes it would seem ok, but I spent many days questioning the relationship. So I felt if I had to question it that much then it obviously wasn't meant to be.
We have to remember that NO relationship will be perfect, there will be some problems...but it's all about how you work them out. Do you yell and argue a lot or do you sit and let each other talk until it's solved? Are they an almost everyday thing? If so, that's not a good sign.
Why did you feel you were in a bad relationship?