to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchArielle FordDavid SteeleCatherine Behan

ASK YOURTANGO

Got a question about love, dating, marriage, divorce, makeups or breakups? Ask our members, because experience is an invaluable teacher.

Asked by on

5 ANSWERS

Will he ever be able to trust me?

My husband has always has trust issues and insecurities. He has never trusted me. we have been together for 5 years and recently got married. I thought after we got married he would feel more secure with our relationship but he is only getting worse. He calls me 20 times a day and accuses me of cheating if I miss his calls. He doesn't let me out the house. I feel so trapped I am seriously considering divorce because he refuses to try couples therapy and doesn't even try to hear my side of things. What else can I try? I really love him and we have 2 daughters together. He is a good person but his insecurity is ruining our relationship!

Post new comment

goldie
goldieMarriedtired, romance, pampered, son
Posted May 29, 2009

You diffenatley need to talk to him and tell him-Listen we have Children together and i Love you BUT-- If you cant get it together and you dont want to seek help then there is absolutley NO WAY this marrige is going to work. What he is doing is going to wear you down over time if you stay with him-- and if he is trying to control you then as HARD as it may be SREW that.. is not worth it

Reply

MRs.Dis
MRs.DisTakenLoving My husband!!!!
Posted May 27, 2009

I can relate with that. My boyfriend and me we live together every time i leave my phone in the room and I don't answer or pick he think I'm talking to someone else. And i get mad at that i tell him I'm busy cleaning or if I go over to my mom house he tell me you better not go any where else. Some time I want to leave him but i love him to much.... what should i do.??

Reply

BookMama
BookMamaMarriedHappily Married
Posted May 24, 2009

He sounds abusive to me, not insecure. I think you should go to a therapist without him to get more advice.

If you think you can work it out with him, you may have to tell him to come to a counselor with you, or you will leave him.

If he is abusive, leaving him is the best thing you can do for your children.

This website talks about how abusers act:
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm

If you need help, I found this number that will help you find services in your area:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) on this website: http://www.womansdivorce.com/leaving-an-abusive-husband.html

Reply

ms_naya
ms_nayaComplicatedattracting the wrong men
Posted May 24, 2009

oops... at the end. i meant....is he assuming that you're doing what he's doing?

Reply

ms_naya
ms_nayaComplicatedattracting the wrong men
Posted May 24, 2009

if he's always been like that. most likely he will never change. it will only get worst. They're his issues. you didn't cause his insecurities or mistrust. therefore you shouldnt have to pay for it. you will live your life trying to prove to him that he can trust you. but only to see that nothing you do will change him.. it gets frustrating.!! you have to also ask yourself....is assuming you're doing what he is doing?!

Reply

Sponsored Content - Stories Across the Web