Leave!! Get out quietly and block his number emails, and change your number. Call his friends and parents of his know that hes threating this. Why? If he is threating violence on himself this can easily turn on you. This can also be a sick game for control over you as your boyfriend blamed... uh pointed out "Your the only thing that keeps HIS life together?!?" LAAAAAAMMMME douche flag!! Call the police if you have too. He needs more help then you can give. Your not therapist, you cant help him. Dump the immature manipulitive boyfriend, and callthe new guy immediatly to set up a fun date.... DONT mention the ex....do it before the good one gets away.

This is a little tuff. Angel has a very solid point...you aren't married. Part of the purpose of dating is to shop around and discover what you like, as well as learn more about yourself and a host of other stuff. The way that you worded the question it seems like you think you have a chance with this other guy...but his response to you doesn't sound like he wants to start something with you. In general, if a guy wants you and knows he can do better by you than the one you're with, he'll say or do something that kinda leads into the idea of you both being together. The new guy seemed to just give you what he thought was just real heartfelt advice, basically to stick with your boyfriend.

I'm not saying that is what you should do...thats for you to decide. But, like Angel was saying, you need to make that decision in terms of if its better for you to not be with him, versus if it would be a better relationship with someone else. Put the focus back on yourself. Sure, you love him, but I suspect you're beginning to learn that love won't hold a relationship together by itself. We all need more than love, and a relationship needs a whole lot more than that. Take some time and figure out for yourself if this is what you want right now. Yeah, you could wait, and hope your bf starts to make changes and gets some ambition, but there is no guarantee that he will.

Also, as much as he may be relying on you to keep his life together, there is a strong chance that your staying is doing more harm than good. By staying and doing things for him (even when he doesn't let you) you are enabling him to keep on doing the same thing that is making himself miserable. Sure, stuff happens that is out of our control and totally turns our life into chaos...but we all eventually gain our balance and heal. However, the dynamic you are describing is one for a co-dependent relationship...basically where you get your needs met by being his anchor, the thing that holds him together, and he gets his needs met by not having to take responsibility for himself, along with the bonus of probably blaming you in some way because he isn't in control of himself and has left that to you.

The last part...change doesn't happen quickly, and 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, or even a year isn't a very long amount of time to make major changes. Lack of ambition, immaturity, and co-dependency issues are not small matters. These are things that can take some people years to make positive changes towards, and thats with therapy. To expect him to grow up in that short an amount of time, all the while being the linchpin that is holding his world together, kind of goes against itself.

So take some time to think about what it is that you really want for yourself and if you really think that you are going to get it with your current bf. Don't put the other guy into the thought process, just make this about you and your current one.

He is just your boy friend not your husband so, I say maybe take a break if thats what you want to see if this is something you really want. Dont jump into a new relationship though because that is no good either. Just take some time out and find out how you truely feel.