Asked by torrieg on
how soon is too soon to start hanging out with your ex?
My ex and I broke up about five months ago. Although we loved eachother very much and were best friends, we were both very unhappy with our relationship so we split. The brake up was messy and painful for us both. Now I'm over the hurt and want to be friends again, he does too, but it feels kinda awkward when we see eachother in public. On the phone things are fine but I just wonder could it be too soon to start hanging out?
Post new comment
For more advice from Matt and Tamsen, check out their website, Ask Matt and Tamsen.
For more advice from Matt and Tamsen, check out their website, Ask Matt and Tamsen.
why would you want to hang out with your ex. when he cant get any sex what is he going to do call you.
Well, I have never really had a "messy" break up. I mean, there was hurt and all, but not messy. I have never had any desire to hang out with my ex's. I moved on, spent time with my other friends, and met new people. I occasonally talk to one of my ex's on facebook, the other's I don't really talk to. I think it's best to move on and find something better.
I'm friends with most of my ex's. I figure if I like you enough to sleep with you, I should like you enough to be friends with you. But it doesn't happen over night. And sometimes it takes a "phone relationship" as a bridge. But make sure you really want to be *just* friends with him. The way I can tell if I'm ready to be friends, really, really friends is if he calls to tell me about this great new girl he's dating, can I be happy for him and ask questions like I would any other friend. If you are tip toeing around that issue, just take it slow and talk on the phone occasionally. Enough to keep in touch, but not enough to reli on him for emotional or mental support.
I'm also in a similiar situation.. it was a messy break-up and he was my first love. Its also been 5 months. But to me its about forgiveness. We speak.. we are trying our luck with friendship.. will we be best friends? no.. but at one point we loved each other and were best friends.. I miss his friendship.. he sucked as a bf and once you are ok with the fact that you weren't meant to be together romantically.. then its ok to be cool..
Isn't this the guy you described as a lazy leach? My belief is break ups is "don't look back." You may get sucked back into that destructive relationship. From what you wrote to me privately, this guy doesn't sound like "friend" material.
Not to sure why you would even want to hang with an ex. Going from friends to lovers to friends again is tricky. most times it doesn't work out in any way at all. There are so many other people out there waiting to meet you, try someone new!