Thanks to Parisienne and Qverb for your insightful and most likely to work advice. This is why it's a pleasure to come across sites like this. Cheerio!

I am happily married, but I will let you in on a secret, cherie. You need to be genuinely interested in the men you want to date. Ask them about themselves and what they do. Ask them about their favorites. Smile and be cheerful!

I go out with the girls and still have men buying me drinks. I am upfront about the fact that I am married and NOT looking, but I would still love to share conversation. Some men apologize and scurry away. Others simply tell me they love the company of a beautiful woman with something to say. I can't tell you how many good, male friends I've made this way. They end up bringing their wives/girlfriends over to the house for BBQ and poker.

So, there is no "secret" so to speak. If you are interested in them (truly interested and not just about whether or not you can sleep with them or what they think about you at the moment) they will know because you are attentive to conversation. You want to know more and keep it witty. Don't think about yourself and stop worrying!

I've been told I have "the mojo" but mostly I just keep in mind that men are people too. They have the same (if not very similar) concerns, thoughts, hopes and dreams as we women do. They just don't talk about them as much and if you never ask you'll never know some very interesting (and juicy!) stuff that is going on in their male skulls.

There are some men that are boring as rocks and just want to sleep with you after getting you drunk. There are others who don't care if your married or taken and get a little too friendly. Then there are others who just enjoy a healthy conversation. It really is a crap shoot. So if you like a guy, keep asking questions and really listen to his answers. You can even be upfront if you think the guy can take it *wink*. I know that has always worked with me. If they DO happen to run off into the night then that is their problem! hah.

So carpe noctem (seize the night!) and really engage with these men. I promise they'll thank you for it! You'll have more fun when you just enjoy them as people!

For starters, as with everything else between lovers, there is no definitive answer. The best answer is what form of first contact is genuinely you. I know a lot of guys out there are like me in that they love the chase, and many women love to be chased. In this there are of course deviations. Dynamike74 has some good stuff. Confidence is key. It tells the hunter in us that you are challenging prey and therefore worthy prey. Sure, physical cues are great on a subconscious level (the whole eye contact thing is tricky...it gets hard not giving the psycho look or the "I'm staring at you like a gourges rib-eye I want to barbeque and devour" look). Some men don't feel confident enough in themselves to appreciate a woman who makes the first move, and others see it as a great sign that you are definitely someone worth going after. Figure out what feels genuine to you and then play with that.

I asked the question because TOO much advice I come across these days focuses on non-verbal ways for women to communicate their interest. They're in the following: maintain eye contact (ie Stare deeply into his eyes and hope he reads your thoughts), play with your hair (Head hair, right? J/k. How much twirling dictates how much interest? Clockwise or counter clockwise?), touch him, laugh a lot (I can't force myself to laugh when nothing is funny.), and my personal fave (NOT) -- Let him do the talking since men just LURVE talking about themselves. (Might as well let me slowly suffocate.)

Another question: what about the myth of waiting for the man to make the first move? Does this cover who flirts first, or does this "rule" just apply when asking someone out and calling?

Walk up a say I think I'm Interested in You!!!

Tell me in a confident manner and let me decide the next move. You've gotta tell me once. Anything more than that comes across as desperate. I'll be more attracted to you if you're confident. Confident women don't chase. They express interest and carry on. I suggest you do the same.