Asked by miss_mimi19 on
How can i get a bisexual man to be with me?
I have a friend that i have always had a lastly feeling for and we are together always and it just seems to always be so right ... but he is into men as well
what can i do to make him want to be with me for just more than a friend?
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My husband of 13 years is bi and enjoys the benefits of making love to a woman and the benefits of making love with another man. Early in our relationship he opened up to me about his experiences with men. I did not handle it well at first, but I listened to him, I researched on the net, I searched my soul and learned to accept that his bisexuality was part of him,part of his identity and felt honored that we had the kind of love and relationship that he didn't have to hide it anymore, he didn't have to be embarrassed about his self esteem. I also realized that him being bisexual had absolutely nothing with our marriage, our sexual intimacy or our family. At times, it enhanced our relationship together. He needs his time with other men, that's part of who he is. He has a man friend that he sees and when they schedule a date, he tells me when, where, when he'll be home, etc. No secrets, no hiding, no shame. We are so insync with this part of our marriage that he is comfortable in inviting me along on some of his dates and we share the experience together as a couple and I have learned to respect my boundaries of joining them, just like single men know their boundaries about joining another couple and playing together. I have enjoyed my playtime with my husband and his friend and don't expect to be included in every date and I shouldn't be included on every date. I relish the times I am invited and know that it helps us grow closer together as a couple by sharing a very intimate relationship between us that alot of other couples cannot even fathom experiencing together because there are so many men that hide their sexual preferences from their women because of the nasty remarks, joking, the shame their wives will make them feel for expressing themselves and the social taboo of m2m relationships.
I am bisexual and I generally date bi-sexuals because hetero and homosexuals can be a litle stressed about bisexuality. If a person is wonderful, then they are wonder, thats the mindset of many bisexuals, it has far less to do with the mechanics of how it's expressed
I think Johanna is right on. I don't think you can (or would want to ) MAKE someone like you-in an intimate way- if they havn't expressed the idea themselves. Not any differently than if the individual was straight heterosexual. If you think you might really be interested in him and THINK you can accept that type of relationship - you might let him know in a passive way that you could consider an intimate relationship with with such complications. It may be that he also would like to consider such a relationship, but is very uncomfortable in proposing it. Leave the rest to him. But I really don't think you should vigorously persue it. If he is not open to the idea then it's probably best left as it is. Let him just be a friend. It sounds like you're quite attracted to him personally but always keep in mind-entering into an intimate relationship with someone with such diverse sexual desires could prove to be very,very complicated and challanging. Even though you have fantasys of being with him-you could be in for quite an awakening once the mechanics of a real intimate relationship with his diversities begin. Please don't think you're going to change him. That never works in any relationship.
Hi Sweetcare!
I sincerely wish you didn’t feel distressed sometimes about your husband’s interest in other men. You are actually a lucky person because he felt secure enough in your relationship to share an entire side of his identity with you. I hope you can appreciate and celebrate that he loves and trusts you enough to share that with you.
I think a lot of bisexual identity is tied more into sexual fantasy than in actual enactment...either because our society does not offer much opportunity to engage in bisexual friendships, or because merely the fantasy of bisexuality is sufficient to satisfy many people’s curiosity or desires.
A lot of bi-curious and bisexual people suppress bisexual friendships and physical activities in order to adhere to heterosexual and/or monogamous expections with their primary partner (spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend). I imagine that might cause internal stresses for that person which can spill over into the relationship and effect both partners.
I knew my male partner of eight years was bi-curious before we committed to a primary relationship with each other. We now engage in BiMMF threesomes (sexual liaisons), and his bi male friends are my friends, too. I feel no insecurity about our relationship being jeopardized by these friendships.
It also helps my female libido to observe just hot bi guys really are in all their fine male sexuality! I believe women’s sexuality will be further liberated once we know more about human sexuality in all its manners of expression.
You have to make sure you can handle his bisexuality. Seven years into our relationship, my husband finally confided in me that he was, at times, interested in men. I felt like I could handle it. I loved him, after all, and I had made a commitment to love him for eternity. Most of the time I can deal with knowing that he has sexual impulses/ feelings toward men. But, sometimes, it tears me apart. Just know that it isn't always easy.
It doesn’t sound like you are afraid of his bisexual orientation...have you let him know that? Lots of bi guys want girlfriends and wives with whom they can share both sides of their sexuality rather than suppress or hide who they really are.
make sure you WANT him first...that includes all that he is...not jsut what you want him to be. you will not change him...
HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE WANTS TO BE WITH MEN?
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO COMPETE WITH ANOTHER MAN FOR A MAN?
You can't "make" someone want you. And it feels like you might be confusing a soulmate friend for a soulmate lover. It sounds like you have a deep connection, but if he's not making any moves on you, unless you're willing to make the first move, you'll have to settle for being good friends.