Asked by ptcruisengal62 on
Where can an over 40 woman meet a nice guy?
I am back to the dating scene after the end of my 20 YO marriage. Times have definitely changed since I last dated. How or where is a single 40 plus YO supposed to meet a man? Online dating services are a joke, all my friends are married & know no single men. What's a woman supposed to do?
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For more advice from Matt and Tamsen, check out their website, Ask Matt and Tamsen.
For more advice from Matt and Tamsen, check out their website, Ask Matt and Tamsen.
These days there are so many opportunities to meet others. the key for me (and maybe for you) is discovering that it's best not to have an agenda at all...the only agenda should be having a good time then and there with people, and surrender to whatever may com. Where to meet people? I have had very little luck (really, no luck) with online dating services, at community places, or grocery stores. I am not religious, so those functions are out. But, here is what I have done with great results:
-join several groups on www.meetup.com and attend their meetings. There are other sites like it, such as gather.com
-reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. call or email them. If the subject comes up, let them know you are single and available. Many will remember that if they come across a single person who might be your type
-make sure you are not angry, anxious, or suspicious of men. If you are concerned about healthy eating and exercising, don't try to convert people to your ways...it's a turn off. Resolve any such issues directly and openly privately and with good friends...you can't hide these feelings from the kind of men you would be interested in.
-nothing is more attractive to any man than a smile from a woman who is comfortable with herself and is not shy about making eye contact and smiling.
-expect that some people will be dishonest or less than honorable, and some will not return your attraction, and some you will not return their attraction. this is par for the course when looking for a match... but know that if you are open to meeting people, you will discover not one but many matches for you.
-remember always that feeling sexy is what makes you sexy...and plus, when you allow yourself to feel sexy, you naturally can't feel anxious, harried, angry, suspicious, unsure, or any other feelings that are turn-offs to both sexes.
-try to see if there is some behavior patterns you have that sabotage connecting with others...such as too much humor too early (clowning, as was my problem, in the name of proving that I am easy going and love to laugh), talking about past relationships, having an agenda...any agenda, etc.
I hope this helps. They are working for me like a charm...and I don't think it matters that you are a woman and I am a man...I think the same natural rules apply.
For a woman it is concomitant upon the area and culture she is living in. The old cast iron frying pan does work. It goes like this:
1. Go and buy a cast iron skillet
2. Buy large purse
3. Target your prey
4. Hit prey over hear HARD!!
5. Sling over shoulder and carry home
6. Have you way with him
7. If satisfied chain to bed. Otherwise toss out with garbage!!
8.. Repeat as necessary.
I am a 47yo DM and moved back to where I grew up and all my friends of a few years ago are now gone or married. I am outgoing but networking and making friends is not easy for me. Younger women dont even look at me and the older women just want to play around with younger guys. I am in the process of trying new interest but being unemployed due the economy women want someone who is financially stable or rich as hell.
Lyz is right you gotta get involved
I'm 38 and wondering the same thing. I go to the local watering holes, but I do not see anyone I like. My "type" doesn't seem to live in my area :-( I think I will go and go to happy hour in downtown since I like business types. I've been told that I have to be where the men I like will be. Unfortunately, my interests are not guy-interests, so I have to explore and be willing to try some other things. Hang in there. It's a lonely and frustrating road, but have hope.
Here is a suggestion - ask someone (of the opposite sex - married or not) that you know out to lunch or happy hour and just have a normal conversation with him. The idea is that you get to go out, talk and enjoy company of someone of the opposite sex and you get to work on communicating. I often go out with friends of mine who are women and it is fun to hang out, talk, and catch up. While this is not a date, I think it might help you get to the next step. What do the rest of you think? Good idea? Bad idea?
I am a single 40 YO woman and I am wondering the same thing! I do work, and most of the men I work with are either married or far too young. I've taken tons of cooking classes, and they are generally filled with couples or other single women. I have not yet tried a book club so that's maybe a possibility. I do take my (large!) dog to the dog park every day, hoping to find another dog lover to hang with. So far the men at the dog park are already coupled or not interested. I *do* want to meet someone, but I'm hoping it will just happen as I go about my life, doing the things I love to do out in the world.
The best place is at work. The second best place is church. Depending on your personality, you can meet nice guys at the grocery store, post office, or even on a walk in the park.
I'll tell you what I told the last person who asked this. Why don't you branch out and take some cooking classes (lots of cities have cooking classes for singles) and your local community center offers lots of classes for cheap. Take a class at a community college. Get involved in a local club like a book club (check with your local B&N or library). Do you work? If you have a job let people at work know you're looking. If you don't have a job, get one! A PT job working as a receptionist somewhere will put you in contact with tons of people. Also, if you're religious church is awesome.
There are bowling leagues. You can sign up to play softball with a city team....sooo many options. Also, I live in a small town too and it has all of these options. So no excuses!
When you have been out of the circles of single people it will take time to discover those circles where you live /work. joining activity groups just to make friends who are in the same boat can be helpful!