Asked by packrat666 on
Hung up on height.
Why are so many women today hung up on the height of a man? They are not called shallow when they will only date men 6ft or higher. It is absurd how many women will not consider a man under 6ft. What are men under 6ft suppose to do to find a date?
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I'm 5'5" - an inch taller than my husband. Friends & family say we see eye-to-eye on almost everything. :) It's never been an issue. Early in our relationship, he couldn't reach a dish on a top shelf - in his own kitchen - and called me to get it for him. He thought it was funny, and said he was glad I didn't pick him for his height. I wear heels, and he loves it. Other people's opinion about what it "looks like" are completely irrelevant; we're happy, & have been for years.
I'm 5'2 and I don't want a guy that's super tall. 6' would probably be my limit as well. That being said, if I met a really great guy who was much taller, I also wouldn't rule it out. The height thing would be awkward, but it's not anything I think matters. Even if the girl is taller than the guy, who cares. It looks tacky? Is your relationship about how it looks to other people? And yes, of course you can have a preference of tall men, but I'm sure the preference is instilled into our minds because of the media. The way thin women are portrayed as most desirable, so are tall men. So no, there's nothing wrong if that's your preference. It doesn't mean you are shallow, but I would say the preference is there a lot of times because of messages we see, even if they get into us subconsciously.
As a short guy, I have been prejudged by women who make assumptions about me based on my stature. I have been turned down because I wasn't tall enough. I have even been dumped because 'what would people say when they see us walk down the street?'.I am not bitter. I view my experiences as blessings---for not staying with people who are so incredibly superficial and shallow. The right one won't care. And I don't begrudge people for their preferences. But what gets me is the steadfast exclusion that height seems to be for so many women. I prefer blue eyes, but I'm not about to limit my view to only blue eyes. Yet most women seem to have a very closed view about height---if he's not 6ft or taller, she's not even entertaining the idea of meeting him/seeing him/ect.
I also don't understand how women can criticize an unchangeable facet of a man (or any person), such as height, using the umbrella safety term that it's a preference and thus nothing personal, but when a man criticizes something changeable about a woman, such as her weight, we're being shallow, pigs, ect.
I am 5' 11" and I prefer my man to be taller then me. It makes sex eaiser for one thing, and secondly I think it looks tacky when tall women date short men.
I'm 5'10...not dating anyone shorter than me... SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women are not the only ones hung up on height...so are men. Men often describe men or refer to other men as that "short guy".
Let me give you another point of view: I'm a woman, and I'm 6'1''. Is it really being shallow when I say I wouldn't want to date someone who is under 6ft?!
I would never say anything about shorter men whatsoever, but i would just be unbelievably uncomfortable with anyone that is under 6ft. I understand it might be shallow, but then, so is any other sort of 'type' that you might go for/not go for, don't you think?
However, there is one thing I would definitely agree with: what in the world would any woman 5'7'' and under want with a guy that is 6ft or more?!?!
And yada-yada-ya, all that talk about feeling safe and protected is so annoying, when at that height, you could basically feel safe with anyone!
No offence to shorter women whatsoever meant, but my gosh! I really wanna shoot really tall men that are dating really short women in the knee.
(so you see, we all have our issues ;) )
I have dated men who were considerably taller than me. My husband and soulmate (27 yrs together) is only 4 inches taller than me. To me, he is taller and more masculine than any man I have ever met before! I didn't focus on his size, but rather the quality of the man.This is what really matters. However, I agree that most folks do have certain physical attractions they seek in a partner. If a woman is focused on finding a man of a certain height, then it's best that she avoids anyone that she feels is too short for her. No one gets hurt that way. Is this being shallow? I suppose it is. But why fool yourself? On the other hand, "Good things come in small packages"!!!! My husband is short, but there was
an instant physical attraction on both our parts. Still there after all these years! Good luck,
you will surely find someone who is not worried about your height!
i am 5'9 and my fiance is 5'6 or so and it is so hard to wear heels and sometimes even gym shoes so i get if your really tall for a female why you would look for taller guys but a girl I knew was 4'10 and her man was 6'2 that would just be akward. I mean it looked like a migget or something. I couldnt imagine having to try to get more than 2 feet up to kiss someone lol
ok i totaly agree with u on this im 5'2" and i dont need a guy that is way to tall for me but i dont want him to be the same or shorter than me its hard to find the guy thats the right height but its just the way things are i mean my Boyfriend is 6 foot right now but it was hard to find someone that was the height that i need and hes the perfect height so i dont think it matters and shorter guys are apperantelly finding people too
Lets give you another point of view. Do you find there to be physical commonalities in the women you are attracted to? Do they tend to lean more towards blond, or more towards brunette? Is there a certain ethnicity that most of your past girlfriends share? A predilection towards height is not simply a shallow means of finding someone attractive. Not all of those vertically gifted (men and women) are over flowing with confidence. You'll find quite a few very tall guys that stoop because they are self conscious of their height, and a lot of tall women that desperately wish to wear heels but don't because they feel so freakishly tall that they already have a hard time just getting a date, let alone a guy whose shoulder they could actually rest their head on.
Some people truly are just shallow. It happens. Get over it. They really aren't worth the time or effort to date. Others just have certain prefferences. With over 5 billion people on the planet the odds are in their favor that they'll find someone that fills the checklist in their head for physical, mental, and emotional desired traits. I grew up in predominately asian areas. From the ages of 6-12 I lived in Okinawa. It may have been on base being I was a military brat, but that doesn't mean I stayed only on base. From 12 to the present I've live in Hawaii...which is still predominately asian (there are just different types of asians here). I have a natural tendency to find asian women more attractive. Its not a "wanting to date a geisha" kind of thing, and asian women are no more schooled in the sexual arts then any other ethnicity. I just like asian...its what I'm used to. I've dated outside of this, but it has been predominately asian. A good friend of mine grew up in a similar way. He was predominately surrounded by asian women all his life, and he still lives here in Hawaii. To him, blonds are breathtakingly beautiful. Yet, he married a local japanese girl.
If you are constantly blaming women for being shallow because you're shorter than the average bear and they want someone taller then all your doing is bringing more negativity into you. People feel that. You'll find women out there that will date you for who you are. I'll raise one question though...if you're getting turned down a lot because of your height then is there anything common about the women you are trying to pick up? Is there some quality about them that you find attractive but another person might deem as shallow?
Oh honey...as a woman, I'm the opposite. 6ft is about the maximum height i'll look at. i'm 5'7" and I like my guys to be around the same....eye to eye so to speak. that being said, I've dated guys shorter and taller than me. We're out there....keep looking. :)
I think it all comes down to what quality or characteristic women perceive in man as powerful. Attraction is very instinctual and physical action, therefor, it has more to do with subconscious then conscious motivations. For many women Hight is associated with power. At the same time there are others who have been exposed to short men having more power because they tend to try harder in life and become more successful in a shorter amount of time, therefor they are generally attracted to shorter men. I have happened to be the second type. I grew up watching short very successful men surrounded by beautiful women. So for a very long time I would not even look at tall men, until I realized that it's not about the hight, but about the person. I ended up marrying a man who is 6 feet 2 inches and had no career and no education at the time we met. So to answer your question, toll men in generally project more confidence and personal power, whether it's substantuated or not is another story. The less confident you are the less chances you have with women. I hope that gaves you some clarity.