No matter what happens, when you marry, you also marry their family, so if MIL is being nasty, for whatever reason, you choose the high road, and always keep the words gentle. We have a blended family, his, hers, ours, in laws, outlaws, half-siblings, and we quit trying to please anybody, including ourselves. When misunderstandings occur, sometimes, a wacky response is the best answer-and trust me, you'll get the point across that neutral zones are a wonderful way to establish boundaries in multi-family gatherings. Daily communication does NOT mean finances, unless there is a legal reason to be involved, and use business sense when difficult action is necessary. Hope it works out for everyone!

Well me and my bf have been together over a year(14mths)and we just started talking about the engagement/marriage/ the future .I sort of have my hands&mind full with wonder---I too,sense his mom&family(nobody ACTUALLY said it to me)you can sense the cold shoulder! I have a hard time communicating my worry&what's on my mind-to my love.I'm a Go-Getter,Fix It type of girl,who's always been competitive,so words aren't very good for me,ACTION! Down the line,his mom asked the"Are you happy?question,since I the replaced her doing:cooking,cleaning,laundry-etc. (oh it gets worst-it reminds me of the Monster-in-law movie!) After he let it be known to family&friends,that "He loves Me!" I thought that it would ease up on things!
Until outta the blue-his ex-'fiance' is calling,texting,and moving back near by---coincidence?I don't think so. When we were on a road trip months ago,before all of this bs/drama-I told him that I wanted to know all-about him,so when we were away,I met some of his bf and he told me about his past w/her&how NOW they are just friends.I didn't have a problem with it.(I think it's good that men have some female friends/input) But I am old fashioned& territorial and do think she crossed the line!So when we were in town,I said lets all meet--when she laid it out on the table(via phone)that she wanted to have sex&+++ with my love/my guy! Ofcourse,he told me EVERYTHING---and I did get upset.
I asked all the questions,why&did he put some kind of idea in her mind that he wanted her,etc. He corrected the incident,but she STILL is on the Pounce! What hurts too,is she IS involved w/a guy& is still continuing this! Being that said,we did have a arguement about his mom& his ex. When I blirted out,if he doesn't stand up for me&"us"-I will do the necessary! I blirted her full name&address(which he NEVER told me!So he was SHOCKED!) But I told him,if I wanted to track her or anybody down,dah! I can& will! I LOVE&adore my family(even though they are Screwed up)and consider him part of it! I said, I AM NOT SHARING,nor going to put up with this bs! With that said,all is a BIT better,he sees his family--when needed,and friends(the guys) know,but that ex- she continues every chance she can.I did give him a choice and he picked -ME! Apparently she doesn't like the fact she lost and has issues!(she is a attorney)

I know that you want to prove to your MIL that you are not interested in your man's money or land, and are willing to sign a pre-nup,. I think I would do the same, however, in your attempt to win her approval, which may or may not work, do not sacrifice yourself. Also if your fiance wants to make sure you are taken care of should anything happen to him after you are married, I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all!
I know, that my prior bf's mother, often told him that women would take his money if they could, and it was weird because he would hide it if he spent money on me ( in the beginning even if it was on a date) because she would get angry. I thought this was a cultural difference ( he's middle eastern- american) and it seemed as if there was this prejudice towards other cultures. I often heard the term " white boys" so I thought maybe a lot of this was because I was a "white girl" I don't know if that is the case here or was then, or maybe it is something that all mothers that are trying to control their sons say.
I wonder how was your relationship before the engagement? Did you spend time together? Were you on good terms, do things together? How long have you been together?

I think time is the only thing that will show her you love your fiancee for himself. Just focus on having a good relationship with your fiancee and be friendly to her. Include her in wedding plans, if you can.

I have had the misfortune of having to deal with 1 MIL and 1 future MIL that were both evil to the core! Neither one of them liked me, and both for the same reason. They loved their son and were afraid that I would come between them. My MIL started rumors even saying that our son was not my husbands, and turning distant relatives whom I had never met against me with her constant lies and stories. The future MIL is no more... she always came first in his life. She made sure of this and he allowed it. She has never allowed anyone to get as close as I did. She has literally thrown women out of his life and did so to me, but we ended up back together. I eventually learned to stay away from this woman whom I did everything with and for only to find out that she was completely bad mouthing me behind my back, and doing everything within her power to break-up our relationship. I stopped taking her out to do things ( she was a shut in unless people took her out), buying her things, and trying to be her friend. I realized it wasn't going to happen. It was a one-sided relationship with me constantly trying to win her over and her just taking whatever I offered and never giving anything in return let alone the approval or acceptance I sought.
My advise to you; try, try, and then try again... try having a conversation with her if you can. Let her know that you would love to have a relationship with her, but if she does not reciprocate then just let it be. You must then decide if your relationship/marriage can survive this. It is very difficult to have a relationship when you are being slighted by your husbands family or you feel he may be choosing her over you or even if he feels that you are putting him in this position where he must choose or he must defend his mother.
If you had a good relationship prior to the engagement, then you never know, maybe a conversation will clear everything up, but in general, I think this is usually a very tough situation to deal with. I wish you luck.

He stays in touch...he only lives 1/4 mile down the road. But that may be most of the issue. For those 13 years he has been single again, she has taken care of him and it may be like I'm taking that away from her, I guess. He and I have discussed our finances and the land. He fells like if I'm putting in half the work and half the finances to keep the horse farm going, then if he passes away, I should get half. I have no problems with a pre-nup, but he does. He doesn't think I should have to prove myself. I have to give him all the credit in standing up for me. Maybe explaining that to her will help.

I'm sorry but keeping in touch does not bite the bullet, I know I am young, but I have a future MIL from hell. We live 15 mins away use to talk to her on the phone a couple times a week and would do dinner together almost once a week. When my bf was over seas she wanted updates so I would call her to tell her he was ok and all of a sudden she goes to his 2 brothers saying I'm bragging that she's calling me and not her and they came back to me and him. Biggest bunch of bs in my life, now we avoid her, hardly speak to her, we are much more peaceful without her.

Congrats on being in love again! I think one thing he can do is stay in touch with his mother. One thing mothers-in-law worry about is being left out, and studies have shown that sons who keep in touch with their mothers can help ease the tension between their wife and mother. If she talks to him often she won't feel left out. But it sounds like that's not her main problem; maybe he could explain to her how the two of you plan to split the bills, and how your finances are arranged. That could help ease her mind.

Would you consider signing a pre-nup? Even if your fiancee doesn't want you to sign one, maybe that will be enough for her to see that you only want his love, not his money.