Asked by BabyMama on
My boyfriends step mom hates me now that I'm pregnant with his child.... any suggestions??
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three years. I recently found out that I'm 13 weeks pregnant with his baby and we're so excited! However, his step mom has stopped talking to me and has told me that I'm making the wrong choice... having a baby with someone who doesn't love me... and that I should have an abortion.
How can I patch things up with her? Or should I just wait...?
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To answer QVERB:
My boyfriend is 30 and I am 25. I guess that puts us both on the young side. We both live with my mom, who is more than supportive.
His dad is completely whupped. And while he communicates to my boyfriend about how unfair he believes his wife is being to both of us (well, all three of us, really), he wouldn't say anything to her because she is the Man of the House.
My has spoken with her at least tree times since she had me over for "brunch" and said those horrific things to me. However, when we got together for his college grad., she treated me the same way. So, I think that answers your questions... and just as an update, obviously things are no better.
And while a righteously verbal ass whupping on your bf's step-mom would indeed feel great, there might be some other things to consider first. Step-mom may be genuinely concerned for your bf and thinking this is a mistake, although her way of addressing the issue is way off base. If your bf is ballsy enough, have him talk with dear ol' step-mom first. I'm guessing from including him in the "we're so excited!" line that bf is fully on board with you and definitely wanting this child. This leads on to next question; Are you both living together, or, a little more importantly, is he still living at home? I get the feeling you are both on the young side, but that could be anywhere from still in high-school to your early 20's. Once again, this could still be step-mom freaking out and thinking you are both to young for this. Still doesn't absolve her of how she treated you. Discuss with your bf how you want to approach this, and it does need to be approached. It will be your call to trust him if he advises that he talk to mommy-dearest first, or if you approach together as a couple. Failure to face this will just make step-mom even more certain that this is a mistake as she'll see you both as not even being mature enough to address the issue with her.
In all of this; it won't be easy. Step-mom, given how she has handled this already, will probably not listen to reason and will already have her mind set.
I'm just curious though...what is your b/f's father's take on all of this?
I would give her a peice of my mind while your boy friend is there. Both of you together express your joy at having a child together and tell her if she has a problem with it to jump off a cliff. She has no right to make you feel bad emotionaly during what should be one of the most happy times of your life. And make sure he backs you up.