Asked by Monica Freeman on
Deep Dark Secret - Do U Tell Your Partner?
Presume that U have a secret, really so private, or that you are ashamed of, or something you want absolutely NO 1 to know, WOULD U STILL TELL YOUR PARTNER.
Even if it could, or possibly would cost you your relationship or marriage??
Let's hear it everyone.
Monica.
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I would say no, because if its too bad like that you like girls too then he might feel threatened. Some things might be deal breakers, like your girl used to be a guy...lol. If you cheated on your ex, stuff like that
I've got a couple dark secrets that I am extremely reluctant to share. I've had a couple relationships that this laundry was aired out to because I knew that they could handle it and that it wouldn't change their view of me...they fully understood that those things were part of making me who I am. Not everyone can handle that though. I don't believe in keeping things from my partner, but I don't believe in making them agonize over something that really doesn't affect our relationship today when they don't have the tools to handle it. Its not an assumption that they can't handle it but because I have been told by them that they can't handle it. Perhaps when they have worked through their insecurities they can feel more open about it, perhaps it won't ever be spoken aloud again. Either way, they aren't issues that control or influence me.
I have several dark secrets from my past and they all have to do with who I am now and how I handle life and love. I don't tell every one I date my secrets but I belive that anyone I am serious about deserves to know who I am and where I come from. If they can't accept what I have been through, if they can't understand then I don't want to be with them any way.
I don't know. I'm a good secret keeper and if I think it has nothing to do with who I am now, why would I put my partner through the agony of hearing something I consider so terrible if it isn't even relevant. I'm conflict avoidant.
I'm conflicted about this one. I think it's important to have mutual trust and respect in a relationship, so I for one believe in airing all dirty laundry to my DH. But you know, I've seen people who've had great relationships and kept some secrets to themselves, especially secrets of past abuse. I guess how I think is, if its a secret is your past owning you or are you owning your past?