Asked by YourTango on
He falls asleep when Im trying to arouse him...Is this normal?
We have been dating for six months.Our first time sleeping together was not the greatest One week after we first became intimate he was in a car accident and broke his ribs. During the healing process we used other means of pleasuring each other.When we finally could make love again it took us awhile to figure out what worked for each other and in the last month we have finally got it but lately he has been working overtime(12 hour days ) and when we do finally get alone time together I start to get him aroused to take it further and he will fall asleep on me. Then I get mad and if he tries to wake me up for sex in the morning I will cut him off.I feel that if he was that into me he would be able to stay awake to give me what I want. He says that it relaxes him when I'm doing it and he cant help it .What can i do to get him to stay awake ?
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Thanks for all your input. I really want things to work with him.Its not that I'm not a morning sex kind of person, I am ready for it anytime but I feel like he is rejecting me by falling asleep and then in turn do the same thing to him which I know I shouldn't do. We have talked about it and I promised him I would be more understanding about how tired he is. I just have never had to deal with this before as anyone else I have been with has never turned me down because he was tired.
In my industry a 14 hour day is a standard 16 hour days are pretty common. Additionally, these aren't just for a few days or a couple weeks, this can be for a couple months. I understand how your man feels. What you are doing feels AWESOME but it can lull a guy to sleep...most of the time. I find at times it doesn't matter how tired I am, especially if I can actually get a little more than five hours sleep, but it isn't as much fun. Be a little more understanding...his needs aren't being met either, even thought that is his choice to work at a place with hours like that, but he is trying to do what he can. I have even had times where I've started to arouse my SO and she fell asleep on me! Because I know the feeling I appreciate that at least I can do that much for her.
There is no way I am going to fall asleep if a woman is trying to arouse me - unless too many drinks are involved. However, I have never worked those kinds of hours so I hear you. I suggest you be there for him in the morning (make it good) and I think he will find the energy to be there for you in the evening. Please don't start the tit for tat - it is really rough on relationships and it is not fair.
benb
Sometimes my man gets like that from work. Get it in the morning, become a morning sex woman. And be right there any other times he isn't comatose.
I agree. He is trying to work with you! Work with him. If he wakes up and is ready then, why can't you be ready then?
I have found that the more sex you have the more sex you want.
Justin falls asleep attimes, but he also has 14hr workdays, but I start it, and believe me, depending on the woman's moves he will wake up enjoy what your'e doing and go back to sleep afterwards.
I agree, dont play Tit 4 Tat!
First it was him falling asleep, then it was me (different times, but working a lot of hrs.). Now we do it whenever we have a moment to ourselves. It is relaxing after along day to have someone you love rubbing and touching you. While it can excite you, it can also lull you to sleep. Try to be very quick at night. wake up early for sex and time to cuddle.
A Lot of guys wake up with ~the need~. You are playing tit for tat, not good! After a 12 hour shift, drive home, etc. Stop the "You don't for me so I won't for you!" He is a guy! If he is falling asleep when he has the opportunity for sex, esspecially after any length of time, then his excuse is legitimate, or your doing too much soft foreplay. You're not doing it in the morning is just being bitchy! Either way, don't complain about lack of sex if it is only on your terms! Give him his morning, and pounce at night. He will come around.